Feb. 10th, 2015 10:46 am
nepenthe: (Default)

Went to the Renn Faire this weekend with a smaller contingency of friends than initially planned, but it worked out well. Less fretting about which shows to hit. Less neurosis. The best bits were a Russian gypsy violinist, some amazing birds of prey at the hawk show, petting the greyhounds, seeing the joust. . .any of the bits with animals and music, really. There was a good acrobatic troupe. Nothing crazy happened, just a warm, sunny day hanging out with my friends looking at stuff I want but can’t afford. When the faire was over, we went to a pub and had my first Cornish pastie.  

I love Cornish pasties.

Didn’t write anything yesterday. Boo. Bad show. I could’ve at least thrown some pity words down on the page. Tonight is another writing sprint. I need to have, omg. I honestly need to have this stupid thing done by, like, Friday night. Crazy. Cause I need to start on the next story this weekend, because next weekend I’ll be in San Diego and won’t get anything done.

Work today is slow. Would I ever love to be working from home (not happening any time soon).

Bed time

Feb. 5th, 2015 09:20 pm
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It always seems to be bed time by the time I'm into the swing of things.

Will write a little more tomorrow, maybe (I have a friend who might still be in the hospital tomorrow night, and if she is, I'm going to go visit her so might not get much writing done). Saturday, I'm doing writing sprints w/ my buddy 8-4. If she doesn't have work projects. Otherwise, I'll be sprinting on my own. Sunday is Ren Faire! I know Ren Faires are ridiculous. Don't care; got me a 1/2 price ticket, a bunch of single dollar bills and a day out with my friends wandering in the dust. 

W/C: 238 (I know, but I needed to do edits and cut stuff, too--you know the drill)
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A whole chapter of my long DW fic has been posted.

The first draft of a 3 part, BDSM Doctor Who fic that’s about 16,000 words is done. It’s up for revision. Will post this month.

These are important accomplishments. These are part of my getting shit done program. I finished the month of January with about 18,000 words typed up (probably more, since some was written long hand) which is more than I wrote for NaNoWriMo, more than my stated goal of 16,000.

It doesn’t feel like it was quite enough. I’m happy to have resolution to the shorter fanfic and needed to get that chapter posted for my neglected readers.

However, I neglected to do more for my original fics. There are two I am working on. Each have about 1/3rd of the first draft done. I think I need to pick one story as a focus and knock it out in a few weekends. The fanfics I’ll spend a few weekdays on because I need to be regular in my updates. But I really, really need to get a move on my original work because those are on a real world deadline. They will be challenging—they are challenging—but I’ve got to end the shortest month of the year with two first drafts. I’ll still push my 500 words/day goal; I’m beginning to feel it’s too low a goal. There’s always more to do and with only one job, I have the time.   


Personally, I’ve been at sea, riding the waves of contradiction. I’m vacillating between confidence, a sense that I can conquer all the hurdles out in front of me and write like a MoFo, and feeling that I need to face the reality of my situation and seek part-time employment somewhere and hold onto that employment, at least until April/May when I need to seek a new full-time job that pays cashy-money as opposed to poverty wages.

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Not a lot to report. I hung out at home watching the Wimbledon Wibbly Wobblies, played a little of my video game and at 6, wrote with my buddy until about 8:20.
I worked on a side Who fanfic because it's so, so close to being done.

Word Count: 825

Tonight, I have to buy bananas for a party at work tomorrow. I’M BRINGING THE BANANAS TO THE PARTY.  

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It’s been a busy week at my day job. No time to sneak in a journal post. Today, things have calmed considerably, but that may change as one of my coworkers is ducking out for a sick kid. There’s a hitch in the work from home giddie-up. They installed the software on our desktops. We took calls; it sorta works, except if we get in queue. Then the system freaks out and freezes up. Until that’s resolved, we’re back on hard lines and not at home. There’s got to be a fix. I want to go the fuck home.  

The twin continues to have husband troubles. No money. Vacillates daily on what solution to take, when she’s going to act, how to get a lawyer, whether to buy a trailer home or rent an apartment. She’s good and stuck in a terrible position.

Monday, I had a friend from work swing by to discuss the possibility of doing a podcast together. Premise sounds okay, but neither she nor I have a lot of time to dedicate to the thing; she works two jobs and paints. I have one job, but am dedicating 20 hrs a week to writing. As usual, I know I’d be the one doing more or less all the work. I accept this as the norm, as this is how most things go in my life (with a few exceptions, notably my twin). However, I’ve chosen the writing track. I have story ideas. I am currently executing the plan like a goddamn mofo. I may, in actual fact, finish a three-chapter BDSM fanfic before the end of this week. For real. The epic, long-ass WIP is about ready for another chapter to be posted, with the following chapter in the midst of edits, with the following chapter of that in progress of being written. My OF stories are behind, but that’s because I’ve been pouring the effort in to these fanfics which are so freaking close to being finished and I desperately need to have something to hold up as ‘done’.

I need accomplishments in my life, and how.

Did a writing sprint w/ my writing buddy last night:

W/C: 625

Not great, but I also got some editing done, so I can’t exactly complain. I fear I'm slacking off/slowing down. That may be normal, given I'm a month in on this new plan. So far, it's rendered 16,500 words for a variety of fics.

So. Close.

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Warning: TMI below:

If I finish stories, work for myself writing, when I’m cramping on my period I could lay down on my own bed with the cats until the meds kick in/it’s over.

I have no news to report on the job fronts. I'm not yet working from home, nor have I heard from the retail store, nor have I completed any job applications. Ugh. I should fill out an application to a temp agency, shouldn't I?

Progress Report:
Tuesday, I did another writing sprint with a buddy. Typed up 1100 words. Yesterday we did it again, but this time I spent the 2 hrs editing. I want to gain word count, obviously, but if I want to start ‘finishing’ and posting fic, I have to fucking edit, too. TIME. Why is there never enough?

That’s a chapter of fic done, guys, about 8,000 words.

Done. Dun dundun dun DUUUUN. (except to send to a beta to go over my concerns)

Tonight, I need to schedule myself for another 2 hours and type shit up, all on my own w/o writing buddy. This weekend is another 8 hour writing sprint.  

nepenthe: (Default)

Last night was my last with the retail job!

I celebrated by hanging out w/ my friends at The Bean and playing Munchkin: Apocalypse. And generally talking too much.

Today, I did writing sprints w/ my local writing buddies over IM. Got 2700 words typed up on one of my original, Rome-themed short n’ smutties. Am stoked this process of doing the writing sprints is getting shit done. With my weeknights free, I’ve scheduled a few hours worth of sprinting w/ my buddies on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. That should be worth near 2000 words. 

This evening, I’m going to run to the grocery store to pick up food necessities and cook for the week upon my return. Then eat, then shower, then bed. Tomorrow night is for editing and laundry. So much to do, so little time--somewhere in there, I need to scope out some part-time work.

I am the rain against the boulder. Let’s move mountains!

Edit: I've never spoken so "too soon" as now. My car has a flat tire!!!! I must go and spend money I don't have on new tires. Fan fucking tastic.

nepenthe: (Default)

Things would be wonderfully falling into place if only I had any money.


I’m now confident I am not going to be hired on for the retail gig. They’ve already let the people who they’re going to keep know they’re being kept on. Who are not me. There is a part-time position open in the department I worked in which we can/I will apply for, but I imagine they’re trying to hire people to that position from within rather than take on a temp. If that fails, I might have a shot of being brought in temporarily around Easter for a few weeks, but that’s pretty much that.

It’ll be back to searching for a new job for me. Somehow, I’ve got to financially hold out until April because that will be my 5 years w/ the phone job and they will fully match my 401k contributions. That will mean a few thousand dollars difference, so I really do have to hold on until then. So that means I should hit up a temp job service to see about earning a little side monies here or there.


With my full-time phone job, I got the news that we’re being sent home sometime in the next two weeks. If only this job paid $13-14/hr. Just $280 more a month would be enough to meet my bills. Imagine having a job that doesn’t suck balls, requires only minimum customer contact and you can do it from home AND you can write on the side (w/ none the wiser).

Back to it:

W/C: 80 (I know, but my type time was interrupted by twin phone call and during work I was editing, which I don’t count towards type totals)

nepenthe: (Default)
Not much to report

W/C: 335
nepenthe: (Default)

Progress Report:


OMG. I did a buddy writing sprint with one of my friends yesterday and we bitches got so much shit done. I scheduled myself to write for eight hours. In that time I got 4,100 words typed up. 


That’s right: 4100.


I've acquired an Excel spreadsheet and have tweaked it to track my Word Count goal of 500/day. So far, ten days into the new year, I'm on pace (in large part to having a goddamn full day to dedicate to writing). Yesterday I wrote fanfic. Today, I'm switching it up and working on my original smut towards my ultimate goal of pulling together a collection of Short and Smutties to sell. Late start today. Not good. I won’t have days off next week (this week?) so it’ll be back to stealing an hour here or there for the next seven days. My sprinting buddy and I will do another sprint this afternoon and again next Sunday night. The two of us are severely lacking in time, though not will or desire or talent.


In Job news, the move from the office to work-from-home remains theoretical. I spoke with our IT lady who sets we worker bees up w/ home equipment and she said she hasn’t received the order to prep up to go, though she had heard Supervisor wanted to move us out. I so need this move out of the office; I will be able to get writing shit done and give the cats some much-needed attention and affection. 

Edit: 2600 words typed up today, original short n smutty. This is me. Getting shit done.
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All my predictions of doom befalling me may have been a touch exaggerated.

At my retail job, I chatted w/ one of my co-workers about not being on the schedule. She explained that everyone who is a temp gets taken off the schedule and would then, later, be called back after inventory. And I was all, ‘But the other two dudes are scheduled to work 22 hours over the weekend next week and I’m only scheduled for 12, no weekend time. I’m pretty sure they’re ditching me. I’d be okay with it, except for them keeping That One Dude. Last night he was closing and FORGOT TO LOCK THE DOORS. He’s totally useless and they’re keeping HIM!’ I took this as an insult. Then my coworker dropped her voice and was all, ‘No, the super v told me you were the ‘only viable option’. We’re not keeping Forgets-to-lock-the-doors douchenozel’.

So. On the sea-saw of probability, I have moved the chances of me being hired on at the retail store to the side of likely to be called back. But that’s not guarantee, no promise. After all, being the ‘only viable option’ isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement.

In other news, I replaced three of the things I set out to replace today: my phone (my phone crapped out on me and I have insurance, so I filed a claim to get a new one), new socks (I had to throw away to 4 pairs in the past few months due to holes and lost friends), and new Sketchers (I loved my Sketchers; so well, they have a hole and required replacing). I also sought to replace my precious Doc Martins today. I found a pair on sale for a screaming deal of $60. Tried on one which fit like a dream. I ordered the sales dude to bring me the other with my eye full of sunshine. The second must not have been properly packaged because the place where the tongue met the toe was kinked. It’d eventually even out and conform to my foot, but not after giving me blisters. There were no others in my size. I can’t describe the level of bummed I was. I’ve worn my Doc Martins down to having a hole in the bottom of the sole. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THAT TAKES? As consolation, I bought more socks.   

I'm wearing my new Sketchers right this instant!

The rest of today is to be a writingpocalypse! I've got my coffee. Going to eat whatever's in my fridge cuz I'm not going out to spend any more money.

nepenthe: (Default)

I’m reasonably certain I will not be hired on for the retail job, with next week being my last week. I’m reasonably sure of this because I was not scheduled to work Friday, Saturday or Sunday.


I’m glad I’ll once again have free time/a life. I’m stressed because I’m left in the exact position I was in back in October: broke, in debt, in a job with no hope for a raise. If I’d buffer money, I’d be happy to begin a new job search and begin my 2nd job writing short n’ smutties. Sadly, I do not have that buffer money any more. So now I’ve got to work out what I’m going to do.




GUYS. I DON’T WORK TOMORROW. Both of my jobs give me tomorrow off!!!! I have a whole day to myself! Dare I say it? I have to get my new phone ordered, but after that, I could do whatever! My resume is updated. . .I could see about flinging it around, see if anyone will bite. Probably not. How horrible is it that my best bet is to sitzpinkler and write. I should plan what I’m going to work on. Hell, I should do some writing tonight.


Yesterday w/c:

100 words typed up

nepenthe: (Default)
Once again, a reviewer begs for update.

I am the Winter Desert.

I wrote 600 words original fic yesterday. I shouldn't've been typing fic up at work, but when I open my mail to pleas for moar fic, I feel guilty as all get-out and angry I can't do much about it. Because lack of time.

GOOD NEWS EVERYBODY. The webcams would just be for one-on-ones. I'M NOT GOING TO BE CONTINUALLY MONITORED. THE TWO COMPUTERS APPROACH COULD WORK (so long as they actually send me to work from home).
nepenthe: (Default)

Nothing is going according to plan.

You know that second job I got in retail in order to pay off bills and squirrel away money so that I could spend January-March writing and building a backlog? My heater busted and I spent the money fixing it!

I accidentally spilled coffee on my phone and broke it; it works 100% fine except no one can hear me talking. This. . .might not turn out to be a bad thing. I’ve paid insurance on this phone and my contract is up in March. I could pay the $150 deductible and get a brand new version of my phone, drop my carrier and switch to a new provider where I’d only be paying for their plan, not the phone.

My cruise job says that sometime end of January, start of February, they expect to move me home. I was very pleased, as that is a key part of my plan, until my boss said they’d be getting us webcams. That’s right. Fucking webcams. Do any of the other departments require their at-home employees to have a camera pointed at them, monitoring their every facial expression? To make sure they’re not doing other things while they’re on the clock? No, they do not.

Will I be able to initiate my plan to write in my downtime on my own laptop if there’s a webcam planted on me?




Fucking fucking fuck.

It’s all coming apart.

I realize now my plans were all gossamer in nature, that my total lack of a security net has gotten me into a lot of trouble; that my bank’s inability to send me a fucking debit card (it’s been over two months—they keep sending it, it doesn't arrive at my home, twice, they send it to the branch which is in a grocery store, the grocery store can’t find the mail key, the branch didn’t get it and I have 1, maybe 2 days of the week I can go in to the bank if I’m lucky because I work TWO JOBS ALL THE TIME).

I heard a rumor at the retail job they’re interested in not just hiring on 5 newbies, but 16. But I’ve heard no noise specifying me so they might not want me at all and I'll be SOL in a week. I haven’t even heard when, precisely, the gig is supposed to end. But, if they do ask if I’d like to stay on, I’m going to say yes. With a miserable, heavy heart, I will say yes and ask if I could work a few less hour a week and not work at all on Saturdays so I can have one day a week off.

And then, I might just have to say, ‘fuck sleep; sleep is for the dead. Fuck a clean house; it’s good as long as I change the litter box. Fuck making my own meals, I’m going to spend my little extra dough I’m earning on take-out’.

This is not likely to work. At all. I am so far behind on my writing. I got so little done in December under the expectation I’d have a squirrel fund for three months. I have no savings—I’ve not have savings in years. It’s taken working two jobs to pull in more income than I spend. I have a house I love, but never spend any time in it.  

You guys, the truth is, there never was a plan. I thought there was, but that’s what plans are: a fuzzy, vaporous fantasy in your head. There’s only the now. If I can't make writing my thing, now, while working two jobs, it's not going to happen. Something will always come up. Life will happen regardless of any plans I make. I need to live in the now. Get back to the WriMoing schedule because, hey, the WriMoing schedule CLEARLY WORKED GANGBUSTERS. Who knows when I'll get it typed up; who fucking cares? I just need the first draft. 

Ugh. I hate to harp on but FUCKING WEBCAMS. Goddamn it, goddamn it!!!!!  Srsly??!!!  

Okay, stopping; I've wasted too much time venting when I could be getting on the writing program, but an update was needed.

I hope everyone else is okay.

nepenthe: (Default)
I received another "So when are you going to update" note. Will add "Guilt Tripping" to my list of how to get me to get shit done.
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I’m recovering from a cold and sprained my pinky toe.

You know, you don’t think about how useful your pinky toe is to walking and balance until you’ve damaged said pinky toe.

Last night’s writing session was not so successful. It got started late. We went across town for sushi, so that made it even later. And then I had to discuss the Danielle Steele books Stephie’s mom loaned to me. They were bad. I did not enjoy them. I think I vaguely understand their appeal; they have the feel of a quiet vacation. These books are for people who want to sleep in a La Quinta bed on a California beach, but never leave the hotel poolside. They eat at the hotel restaurant. Drink a martini. They’re bored to death and they LOVE IT.  


Danielle Steele is also the queen of tell, don’t show. That’s right. All she does is tell. And tell. And tell. Not in an interesting way. I might’ve enjoyed hearing a distinct narrative voice but that’s bland ad grating like sandpaper. Characters will start to have a conversation and three lines in, she cuts them off and summarizes the rest of their conversation. No joke. The character will start to have a serious discussion about a choice they need to make and suddenly, just when they’d have to argue their points, we cut to five LOOOOONG paragraphs telling me, ‘the characters chose this course of action for x reason’. It nixes all opportunity for any character to develop any kind of personality. Danielle tells me as a reader to sit down, be quiet, and here’s your spoon full of baby food: eat it, baby.


But back to my progress.

I’ve written a bit this week in spite of catching a cold and spraining my toe. Did I mention I sprained my toe? I sprained my poor little piggly wiggly baby toe. (When I told my twin I was going in to the doctor to have it checked, she offered that maybe they’d cut it off and I could have it mummified or substituted for use in a ransom—this was the moment I realized MY TWIN IS BACK TO NORMAL, BABY!)


I haven’t done the math on what my final daily word count was for November but verily, it was not 450/day. This month, I need to make the goal be that I type up everything from November, at a minimum. I don’t think it’d be hard to maintain an easy word count of 100/day. It won’t hardly get anything done, but if I manage that minimum, I will STILL end the month 3000 words (a whole chapter, guys!). The moment my retail job ends sometime in early January, it’s going to be upped to 300/day. There is no good reason I can’t maintain that working only one job. If I get to work from home, it’s going to double to 600/day. Why? Because I’m hiring myself to do a second, part-time, self-employed JOB writing erotic short fic. With deadlines and shit.

So far, things that help me get shit done:

  1. Outlines
  2. External accountability (ya’ll see me posting this, right?)
  3. Tracking my daily word count

When the retail job ends (no, I’m not starting right away because I’m not capable of working 3 jobs at once, guys—I have limits), I’m going to add, “framing this as a job where I have a set time clock to check in and out”. I’ll have a set number of hours I have to work every week (gonna start with 15). And also add, “Have set deadlines that are immutable because they are publishing dates”. It’ll take a while for me to roll out given that I need to have a few stories done before I can start publishing (I want a backlog of 6) but if I work as hard on this as I’ve worked my retail job, it won’t be a totally unrealistic expectation.

Time to cut myself off from daydreaming about my goals, eat lunch and then get some writing done this afternoon (work’s not super busy).

nepenthe: (Default)
Yeah. My superamazing word count has gone kaput thanks to the combo of extra work hours (yes, on top of my already full hours), family visit (I regret nothing, that was a wonderful visit), and to to it off, I am sick with a cold. I was out yesterday, flat on my back in bed full of cold medication and amassing a pile of used tissues. I am the worst sick patient. Today I'm out of bed, but am still sick. I debated going in to work this morning; it's time and a half on Sundays, and I was scheduled for 8 hours. That's a lot of money to little ol' me. But I am a drippy faucet and contagious as all get out and it goes against my principles to be a plague carrier or utterly exhaust myself by being up on my feet for 8 hours one day after battling a serious cold.

Here I am, at home. I relaxed, ate a bunch of soup to fuel healing. Napped. I don't think I feel much better this evening than I did this morning, but I don't feel any worse. Gonna drink some tea and see to WriMoing. I will at least type up a few pages of my longhand from earlier this month. I'm a bit fuzzy in the head.  

I'm not 100% pleased with my work this month; there were a few afternoons I absconded from the requisite minimum of sitting down to write for a simple hour, family visits and illness excluded. However, I've written about 7,000 words for 3 different writing projects and read two books. Considering my terrible performance before November and how little free time I've had to achieve this, it's a vast improvement.

It's a lot to type up and edit. I need to get on top of that. Fingers crossed that in January my day job sends me to work from home and I can begin writing in earnest. And now that I've had both the flu AND a cold in the past 3 months, I can't get sick again this winter! (I say, miserably blowing nose.)  
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Who’s had a big lunch? Me! Who had her power nap? Me! Who’s only working 7 AM to 8:30 PM? Me! That means I can wiggle in some WriMo-ing! I have naughty scenes to write in either fic or noveling. Really wish I was working from home; even though I know that by writing in my journal, no one around me knows what I’m writing, nor can they read it, it’s weird to write smut at the office.

Two pages written yesterday. Woot!

I think I can get through another two or three today.

In January, I'm going to hold "The Great Type-Up" whereby I have to type all this shit onto my computer. Maybe swap all the hour I would've put in at my retail job, I switch with typing. Except on Saturdays. I've discovered how important it is to allow myself one day of the week were there is NO WORK. Not that I will have such a day until January, but I KNOW this is an important thing now.

Good luck to all my fellow WriMo-ers!

nepenthe: (Default)

Go me!

I’ve maintained my 450 words/day average. Still. Go me!

The Holiday Trials begin next week; I work long, long hours and the twin is coming over with my niece and nephew. There will be so little time for WriMoing. I feel obliged to squeak in a few extra words while I can so when the month is over, I’ll have three rough draft chapters of my Doctor Who fanfic and a goodly portion of a short and smutty done. So much work to do but I’m doing it.

How good does it feel to write and see results? VERY.

nepenthe: (Default)

Last Saturday, I had the entire day off. It was a wondrous, glorious day. I slept in. I went over to Tempe to buy ‘Settlers of Catan’, got coffee from The Bean, sake from Mekong Supermarket, and then went to Bookman’s to buy books (as per usual).  When I got home, I needed to clean up, prepare snacks and set up for the party.

Gaming was supper awesome. I won Cards Against Humanity by being a Horrible Person. We quit Munchkin about half way through since it was taking forever (we only had 5 people; should not have taken over an hour to reach 5 levels). I sort of won by default, as we called it off when we wanted cake. That’s right: my birthday party, I won all the games. As pointed out to me later, no one really loses in Cards Against Humanity.

That was great. I need to hang out with friends moar! Work less!

Too bad that resolve is useless. It’s the Thanksgiving holiday time and I’ll be working 76 hours this week! My not-actually part time job will be evolving into a full-time one for this week and next. I’m not looking forward to this; at least I’m a closer and I can rely on two of the hours of my day not involving customers.

Not writing Saturday knocked my word/day average to 450. I’m at my cruise job which will be my only chance to write today; I need to get on top of this! Off to write now.


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June 2017

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