Hello? Is anybody here? It sure has been a while with lots happening (or not).
Quick life-stats rundown:
· My back has caused me problems for years and in a fit of being fed up, I hounded my doctor to identify the real cause and address it rather than take a few bullshit muscle relaxers and be told ‘have better posture’. Turns out, I have ‘a little’ scoliosis and several of my thoracic vertebra have limited flexibility. The physical therapist was all: “I may have found the problem. Your thoracic vertebra have 0 range of motion.” No lie, I spent a few days very angry. Years. It has been more than a decade I went in to see doctors complaining of pain by my spine and no one thought to *check if it could move*. I’m mad, I didn’t think of it or insist someone check. (Apparently your spine losing range is a thing that can happen after they crack your ribs for open heart surgery). The good news is that after two weeks of physical therapy, the therapist said I gained 11 degrees of motion (up from 0!). Normal is 30 degrees. So I’ll be keeping up the exercise and stretching even after therapy ends (because insurance). My back does feel better and I have noticed it causes me less pain. This is an ongoing Thing that will be a Thing.
· I’m taking burlesque classes with my roomie! I’m not good at it but I’m getting better! One day I will be sexy.
· I’ve written one short and one novella length fanfic(s.) Am ‘working’ on a couple of Luke Skywalker/Mara Jade fanfics. Half-assed I must admit due to my aversion to sitting in chairs for long periods of time and having a job that takes up my daily allotment of chair-sitting tolerance.
· I work as an online tutor! Theoretically, and also theoretically an English tutor. In practice, I spend a lot of time doing a lot of school-administrative tasks and tutoring math. It is not a work-from-home job, even if it sounds like it could be.
· I own a house! It is a three-story town house and I have 2 roommates/renters who are both lovely people.
· I still have my 2 cats, Coco Puff and & (Ampersand). They are my darlings. Coco still loves boxes and eating shit that isn’t food. Is partial to consuming plastic bags. My cupboards have child-proof safety locks.
Any cool stuff happen while you were away?
· Kinda? I won a $100 dollar gift-certificate over PHX-CC at the Evening Erotica panel for re-writing “Green Eggs and Ham” as “Pink Marzipan”. It was pretty awesome.
o They know who I am.
o I thought I could handle one watered-down drink at Drinks with Authors.
o I cannot handle one watered-down drink at Drinks with Authors.
§ And no, it was not a matter of joyously chatting with a lady about what was in her homunculus tumor.
o At no point did I make an ass of myself in front of Timothy Zahn! Huzzah!
· Twin has divorced her husband. (no one could see this coming, omg, so surprising, woa)
o He made a bunch of sexist/racist remarks at work. In the Navy. He is being sent to bum-fuck Rhode Island as a demotion. Remarkable he was not fired outright.
Any cool stuff planned?
o Gonna drive out to San Diego at the end of July to hang with the Twin for almost a week. While I’m out there, we’re going to a John Williams symphony and I will ‘visit’ her writing group. They are very excited to have me stop in (I know this because they mistakenly thought I was coming last night).
o The Twin’s writer’s group . . . is infamous around my house and amongst my friends, as I keep telling them the horror stories. I don’t know why the Twin keeps going. I mean, yeah. I know why. They’re useful in their own way, and she knows she has a lot of growth ahead of her. Some of the people can help her grow in those areas.
o They write cringe-y, pedophilic and rape-y shit. Fit only for pornos. Also, a dude writing a script where a lawyer tries to prove dinosaurs never existed in a court of law. Dino Lawyer included 2 paragraphs dedicate to explaining how jurors seat themselves in a jury box.
o Garbage fic. Garbage people.
o The guy who runs the group is the exception: the Twin says he’s crazy nice! And good at writing!
o I can’t fucking wait. I WILL FIND OUT WHO PEDO STEVE IS (if the Twin has not scared him off for good).
o Burlesque classes are a thing I’m taking/doing. I cannot remain a couch commando and nothing motivates me to move less than running in a circle in 111 degree heat. Arizona is fucking hot and sweaty as Satan’s balls right now. But I can be motivated to move if it’s to some jazzy instrumental music while I attempt to look sexy.
o Do not imagine I look sexy.
o My instructor has looked upon me in despair at least twice per session.
o Dyslexia + wall of mirrors = OMG, BRAINFUNCTIONFAILUR DIRECTIONAL MISCOMPUTATION WHEN DID WE ADD HORIZONTAL AND VERTICAL AXES TO LEFT AND RIGHT? THAT IS FOUR ADDITIONAL DIRECTIONS ON TOP OF LEFT AND RIGHT DOES THIS MEAN THERE ARE SIX DIRECTIONS?!
o I get frustrated very, very easily. I have more ‘fun’ with it practicing at home than at class. (I can control if I look into a mirror at home).
o There have also been times where I’ve laid in bed after class and told myself that if you’re this angry and frustrated, the class isn’t worth it at all.
o Have realized it was that the first instructor and I did not jive/she did not do a good job of communicating how to do the moves in a way a total, complete novice could follow.
o I heard about the class through a coworker who is working towards performing on stage.
o I write a lot of erotica these days, but don’t think of myself as ‘sexy’. Cute, yes. Not so sexy. I think this is an attempt to bridge my mental and physical spaces.
o I wanna do the splits, bitches. I have wanted to do the splits since I was a child in gymnastics. CHILDHOOD DREAM, HERE I COME. I’m slowly lowering myself to this goal.
o I have several works-in-progress. I have not progressed much in the past month:
§ Mostly because I’m a lazy motherfucker.
§ Partially because my back is fucked up.
§ Partially because I have a daily stretching and workout routine(s). First, for my back. Second, for burlesque.
§ I still have to adult/clean/get groceries/cook.
o They are Luke/Mara fics because your early loves don’t die.
o Mara deserves better than she has ever received.
o Two fics are excuses for smut.
o One is hurt/comfort and not explicit. (Yet).
o One is. . .an AU for Mara. I may wait until we hear the final word from Disney about what they intend for Mara (if they will disassemble her character for traits and give her parts to other women or find a new place for her in their new version of the universe, as they have for Thrawn) before I figure out how to do the second part of the story.
o One is a thing from last year which was based off a premise proposed on some Tumblr post as, “What if Vader survived Endor.” And my brain ran away from me.
o I’ve identified that I have a serious problem writing out/solving/coming up with endings. Srsly, if I have a fatal flaw, it’s that I stall out at coming up with an ending—any ending to anything at all.
o Original Fic?
o We’ll see. I have an idea for a premise/some stuff written, but again, it stalls out at coming up with an ending.
o Is there a Writing Excuses thing about coming up with an ending? That doesn’t suck? And is satisfying?
o There’s another Star Wars movie coming out in December!!!
o My BAAAAABIES! *kisses Rey, Finn, and Poe*
o There’s a Cpt. Phasma book coming out that I’m intrigued to read.
Little ever comes of anything I plan, but I think I'll try to contribute more to this journal. Specifically, I'll try to contribute more adventures with Coco (and sometimes & or my roommate's cat, Haberdash).
Take care ya'll.