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The new job is going okay. I'm still on that unhappy learning curve, which I know will take a long time given that this is the sort of job where no two orders are alike, no two order processes are alike. It is a busy job--I've always got stuff to do. My coworkers are nice and I'm doing my best to integrate. I have confidence that after 3 months of this I'll have some notion of what I'm doing.  


I'm declaring myself a DM and wrangling my friends to join me on a D&D campaign. Or attempting to wrangle. The only person who made it to my open-door character party was the experienced D&D player. Two people canceled. Even so, I'll probably have about 4 players, which is perfect. Not that I really have time to do this sort of thing, but hey. It's soooo much fun and is a great way to spend time with my friends. If people show up. 


This year (three months) I've done several chapters of my ongoing fan fiction and a short-ish fan fiction (16000 words). I've also completed the first draft of one Short n' Smutty. The first have of a second Short n' Smutty is done longhand, waiting to be typed up. The first half-ish of another is typed up, but I might end up scrapping it. It's been so many words (38,000 by my Excel spreadsheet's reckoning) yet there's a long ways to go.

This weekend my writing sprint buddy, her friend and myself are driving up to Pine Top to shut ourselves into a cabin and type away like fiends. My word count has fallen behind to a painful, agonizing 434/day. Writing checks to pay my bills has hit me upside the head that even with my fancy-shmancy new job, I am still in debt up to my eyeballs. It will take years for me to dig myself out even though I'm now making more than 'break-even'. That overage needs to be aimed at fighting my debt and rebuilding my savings for the rest of this year (and longer). Writing is a life-enhancing pastime with potential money-making rewards. I'm so freaking far behind where I need to be. Got to pick up the pace. Every smutty short is another drop in the bucket of the Cat Food/Litter/Medical fund. Imagine never having to worry about buying that $20 bag of specialty cat food and $12 box of litter! That's the life! 

Take care, my two readers. I'm off to fold my laundry and, sadly it's time for bed.
nepenthe: (Default)
So far, so good on the employment front.

They rate A+ on free food (cream filled cupcakes today) and because they are a high end office furniture design firm, I have a wonderful, ergonomic chair which I'm reasonably certain is about the equivalent of a month and a half of my salary. My desk is pretty sweet, too, and i have a view of a lovely mountain vista (if you're the type to believe in mountains, that is). They ordered me a wrist cushion and I like the office pens. The conference room is a freezer, but my desk is seated in the sunshine. I don't get too cold under my vista view. 

What do I do, you may ask. Order processing. Not hard; complex. Involved. Nothing is done in order and so my training has been a bit discombobulated.  Every rule has an exception, every project, its quirks. 

Overall, this is a good fit for me (at least for a while).


My word count has plummeted with my average falling to 455/day. 20 days into the month. It's gonna be hard to prop that back up to 500, let alone the 600 I really do need to actually be productive. The good news is, I'm free this weekend. Nothing to do but clean, hang pictures in my house and write. 

Two weeks from now, Ferocious Pipsqueak, a pair of her friends and myself will be trekking to the boonies of Twin Pines resort town for a writing retreat.  She referred to it as 'the cabin'. In reality, it's a resort mansion. Sweeeeeet.    
nepenthe: (Default)

It’s been a busy week at my day job. No time to sneak in a journal post. Today, things have calmed considerably, but that may change as one of my coworkers is ducking out for a sick kid. There’s a hitch in the work from home giddie-up. They installed the software on our desktops. We took calls; it sorta works, except if we get in queue. Then the system freaks out and freezes up. Until that’s resolved, we’re back on hard lines and not at home. There’s got to be a fix. I want to go the fuck home.  

The twin continues to have husband troubles. No money. Vacillates daily on what solution to take, when she’s going to act, how to get a lawyer, whether to buy a trailer home or rent an apartment. She’s good and stuck in a terrible position.

Monday, I had a friend from work swing by to discuss the possibility of doing a podcast together. Premise sounds okay, but neither she nor I have a lot of time to dedicate to the thing; she works two jobs and paints. I have one job, but am dedicating 20 hrs a week to writing. As usual, I know I’d be the one doing more or less all the work. I accept this as the norm, as this is how most things go in my life (with a few exceptions, notably my twin). However, I’ve chosen the writing track. I have story ideas. I am currently executing the plan like a goddamn mofo. I may, in actual fact, finish a three-chapter BDSM fanfic before the end of this week. For real. The epic, long-ass WIP is about ready for another chapter to be posted, with the following chapter in the midst of edits, with the following chapter of that in progress of being written. My OF stories are behind, but that’s because I’ve been pouring the effort in to these fanfics which are so freaking close to being finished and I desperately need to have something to hold up as ‘done’.

I need accomplishments in my life, and how.

Did a writing sprint w/ my writing buddy last night:

W/C: 625

Not great, but I also got some editing done, so I can’t exactly complain. I fear I'm slacking off/slowing down. That may be normal, given I'm a month in on this new plan. So far, it's rendered 16,500 words for a variety of fics.

So. Close.

nepenthe: (Default)

Progress Report:


OMG. I did a buddy writing sprint with one of my friends yesterday and we bitches got so much shit done. I scheduled myself to write for eight hours. In that time I got 4,100 words typed up. 


That’s right: 4100.


I've acquired an Excel spreadsheet and have tweaked it to track my Word Count goal of 500/day. So far, ten days into the new year, I'm on pace (in large part to having a goddamn full day to dedicate to writing). Yesterday I wrote fanfic. Today, I'm switching it up and working on my original smut towards my ultimate goal of pulling together a collection of Short and Smutties to sell. Late start today. Not good. I won’t have days off next week (this week?) so it’ll be back to stealing an hour here or there for the next seven days. My sprinting buddy and I will do another sprint this afternoon and again next Sunday night. The two of us are severely lacking in time, though not will or desire or talent.


In Job news, the move from the office to work-from-home remains theoretical. I spoke with our IT lady who sets we worker bees up w/ home equipment and she said she hasn’t received the order to prep up to go, though she had heard Supervisor wanted to move us out. I so need this move out of the office; I will be able to get writing shit done and give the cats some much-needed attention and affection. 

Edit: 2600 words typed up today, original short n smutty. This is me. Getting shit done.
nepenthe: (Default)
I accomplished bill paying, sizing down a skirt for my roommate, and making egg rolls last night.

Noveling: Wrote about a page and a half longhand. It more or less finished a scene (OMG, this is, like, progress).

Outline: still not done. I progressed the outline, yes, but it is very much not done.

To Do: Apply for 1 job tonight. Check if the mall has a general job application page. Later tonight, I'll drop my roommate off at the airport. Then after work tomorrow, I'll head over to the mall and ask if they are hiring for seasonal help. Because I do want a new, full time job that pays more, but I need to face facts that that might not be possible/might not happen within a reasonable time frame of the next few months and being a seasonal helper could provide the extra money I need. 
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The long and the short: my basement is still leaking. I wouldn't say "flooding" as there isn't near enough water for that, but there is water seeping in up from the floor in the corner. I'll have to take off more time from work to address the problem. Ugh. It might require me to call in sick with, "Basementleak-itis". How I'm going to keep paying $55 every time someone shows up, I have no idea; I don't have that kind of money.

Tonight, I need to work on my application for Costco. If they need part-time, seasonal workers and if I'm going to have 3 days off a week, getting a part-time job that pays well for 3-4 months would be a very good idea. This does NOT mean I'm deferring my noveling; far from it. It's just. . .I don't wanna be broke no more. I'd like to start paying off my debts and start saving money. I'm going to be 31 shortly and it's time I adult better than I have been.

I need to write and how. Outline is not done--it's progressed, but not finished. I'm not going to beat myself up over lack of noveling productivity when I have been intensively job searching/resume writing/interviewing productive. However, I can't get out of the writing routine.
nepenthe: (Default)
On the one hand, I have more or less caught up with my daily WC. On the other, I can't help but be aware of how much more I could do. I spent about two and a half hours last night watching TV. Granted, my 'monthly' had arrived along with what for me is mild cramping. Sucks. But I took a lot of pills and kept the pain to a minimum. Ugh. Stupid, messing up my schedule.

One thing I have not kept up with is job applications. I need to keep it up and apply and apply and apply. I even have two companies in mind to apply to/at.

Aaaand I was just informed we have a flex schedule at work which means I can work after hours today and make up for the time I previously took as vacation on Monday, today, and get my vacation time back. I will do this as I get my vacation time back AND the hours I make up will be off the phone. I don't think my Supervisor will be around after the first 1/2 hr, hour, so that means writing time. I am going to work, guys.

When I get home: food, apply for new job/s. Life has been stomping all over me. It's time I stomped right back.
nepenthe: (Default)
Yesterday was a mess in spite of getting off from work a few hours early to wait for the plumber. At least my basement isn't flooded and the problem is fixed. Probably.

Went on a grocery run. I read. I cooked myself dinner for the rest of the week. I need to vacuum. 

I did not write : (

So tonight's WC goal is: 200. I'm happy about what I wrote Sunday, and have been doodling here at work, so. I'm gonna hold out for another two hours of work.

When I get home, I also need to research jobs and apply to one. Just one would be enough. Man, am I a sad sap. Costco is actually a good place for me to apply. I can achieve feeding myself, a shower, vacuuming, applying for a job and writing 200 words in 5 hours.
nepenthe: (Default)
 These past three weeks have been action-packed and crazy between the new position at my same old job, San Diego Comic-Con, and GISHWES.

I think it’s best to go by lessons learned.

Lessons Learned from the SDCC:

1.       Never, never, never ever attend another convention without business cards. Never. You have no idea who you will meet or will ask if you do voice work or the next fashion designer for Hot Topic’s Her Universe line screams “Who are you?” and you say, “The Doctor,” and they say, “Obviously. No, who are you to be that cute at MY show” and then asks for your business card and portfolio and you go back to your hotel room and cry because: COSPLAY FASHION SHOWS AT SDCC ARE FOR REALZ, unlike in PHX. Also, all professional panels at SDCC are hardcore. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER FORGET THERE ARE PROFESSIONALS SWARMING THE PLACE AND IF YOU ARE CRAZY ENOUGH TO ASK GOOD QUESTIONS AT A PROFESSIONAL PANEL, THEY ALL WILL SWARM YOU AT THE END AND THROW BUSINESS CARDS AT YOU AND YOU. HAVE. NONE. I blew professional opportunities at SDCC so hard.

2.       I must finish my book. ASAP.

My New Job Position:

1.       This is a great gig. I wouldn’t mind doing it for a few more years.

2.       If you are fast and efficient and volunteer for harderish jobs, you get to hold title of Assistant Manager.


4.       Begin the job hunt and accept nothing less than $13/hr at a company that pays more for good work/time invested. $15/hr is the goal. I have already polished up my resume and submitted to a hiring agency and then submitted to one job. I hate job hunting, but if I don’t earn more, I will never get out of debt. I will never be able to renovate my home. I will never have safety net money. And I will never have self-respect if I don’t earn at least a fraction of what I’m worth at an employer who values my contribution by the new-fangled notion of paying a good wage.


1.       I am astoundingly capable of doing an immense amount of work in a very short period of time and have a net of people around me who are very, very talented, and often, helpful if I ask nicely.

2.       I CAN FINISH THINGS. I can start projects. I can organize for projects. I can set clear, tangible goals. I am a finisher IF I VIEW THE DEADLINE AS REAL, EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TASK.

3.       I need to go back to making daily lists and sticking to them.

4.       Less internet is better. Way less internet. No more tumblr. I mean it. None.

Personal Stuff:

My uncle passed away the Sunday of SDCC. He was an alcoholic and it was liver failure. While I was never close to this uncle, I do feel sorry for my father who feels a good portion of responsibility for not supporting my uncle in the way he needed it. Dad gave him money when he probably shouldn’t have. Bailed him out of getting arrested when he probably shouldn’t have. While Dad did get my uncle into rehab a few times, it was an outpatient thing and not nearly intensive enough. I admit it was also disturbing for me, in the respect that my father is a functioning alcoholic. Unlike my uncle, my dad gets away with his excessive drinking. He smokes at least 3 packs a day. He’s supposed to be on anti-depressants, but doesn’t take them as they’d interfere w/ his drinking. The stress he is under at both of his full time jobs is enormous. And if you know anything about my dad, he is not a pleasant, upstanding character. Rather a jerk. Still. I feel sorry for him and worry that the next person on The Reaper’s List might be my idiot father. And as much as I am and have been angry and bitter about him in the past, there is no part of me that wants bad things to happen to his health.

My sisters are both having husband troubles. The Twin? No surprise there. My other Sister? Did not see it coming, but I probably should have seen it coming. (Her husband was keen to be married, but not keen on having a baby. I fear Sister badgered him into having the baby, a person and responsibility he did not want, but gave in to appease Sister. Now there is a baby. The only thing my Sister talks about is THE BABY. I can see how he was driven a little nuts). They are both contemplating/preparing for the big D, should it be necessary. Astonishing.

1.       The life choice to be single and without children is NOT a bad choice.


That’s waaaaaay more than enough journaling. It is time for me to scavenge for sustainance (I don’t have money for food this month. Wow. That’s a horrifyingly literal thing to say—I spent too much money on GISHWES and I spent no more than $200 on GISHWES, but that’s the equivalent of my food budget. So.


nepenthe: (Default)
I am not progressing the way I wish I'd progress.

The above is an accurate assessment of my writing. I forced myself to delete the first sentence I wrote which was flat out that I wasn't making any progress. That is not true. I wrote about three pages of critical story today. I'll liable to write a few sentences more before bed.

The reason why I'm disappointed in me is that it's not enough and I don't have excuses. I've had the time.  Last weekend and this weekend I had practically nothing that needed doing, only writing. I have the resources: plenty of my favorite journal and pens and my computer is functioning. Procrastination, I am a citizen of of your country.

But I might be suffering from more than simply procrastination. Weirdly, I've been feeling anxious and intimidated by the scope of what I'm doing. There's also the snowball effect where when I don't meet my goal yesterday or the week before, there's no way I can catch up (of course there is!) and being so far behind makes me feel like a failure since I honestly feel like I set the bar to a low, achievable level, so if I'm already a failure what's the point in even trying to catch up? Then I do nothing and the next day I'm EVEN FURTHER BEHIND.

That is stupid thinking. It is defeatist. It's the kind of insidious thought that keeps me muzzled to a telephone at a bad job. It doesn't let the story out and caged stories bite and scratch and tear away at your insides.

There's been lots of good, productive Life Things I've done. I've organized a planning session to sync up San Diego Comic-Con schedules with my friends. I've gone over the SDCC schedule. No Doctor Who party or panel this year. At a glance, it appears that I'll be spending a LOT of time at how-to panels and advice about not only writing but marketing and writing queries and pitches.  I know, I know. VERY aspirational. That's all I am these days. But the more you know, right?

Don't even start me on my day job. When GISHWES ends after the first week of August, it will be time to dust off the old resume and begin job hunting: the dreaded, agonizing, painful and humiliating Job Hunt. But if it means I end up with a job that's less phone/customer service based and $12/hr (dare I dream more?), I WILL BE MOVING UP IN THE WORLD.

No more journaling. Nor self-pity. That's enough for the week; I've plenty going really well for me. 

Word count: Three written pages
WC goal: 500 words between tonight and tomorrow night.
nepenthe: (Content)
I have friends celebrating their B-Days this weekend with food and a showing of Army of Darkness, super awesome! Friends who fight the Apocalypse together, stay together.  

I was not very productive this weekend. Not that I didn't write, but it was only about 1,000 words. Ugh. There's no excuse for doing so little. Let's leave it at that. Yesterday I was not feeling terribly well. Head ache, stomach ache. Laid down for an afternoon.

House is now a wait-and-see if all is approved, as all the documents are turned in. I'll know end of this week, start of next. Bit nerve-wrecking. I only need hold on a bit longer, put up at work long enough. 


This is an exceptional fairytale playlist if you need something to write to:

This is NSFW, but uproarious (thanks effex):

If you're not watching Scishow, why the hell not?

That's enough for now.
nepenthe: (Default)
I was life-productive this morning! I went to bed at the usual time, but woke up about 6 AM and was AWAKE. Usually, I awake to my alarm in a state so drowsy, I can drop right off to sleep if I close my eyes for a few minutes. About 6:30 I gave up, got up, fed the kitties. Cleaned myself up a bit, then decided I'd do what I'd meant to accomplish last night, which was make butternut squash soup. Listened to podcasts. Did three loads of laundry, folded them. Ate some soup, washed dishes. 

I was hoping that the productivity would continue and work would offer me a few hours off the start of my day. No dice. Not that I can complain; I'll spend my day writing this (   : )   ) web surfing, and reading. And now that I am paid by the hour, l can less and less afford taking time off (buying a house, anyone?).

I need to write, like, 300 words tonight. Fan or original fic, doesn't matter. That is an easily achievable goal. I need to repeat a mantra:

You want to write, not retail.
You want to write, not retail.
You want to write, not retail.


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June 2017

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