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So Saturday was once more a writing sprint day. I did what I suppose could be considered the bare minimum for a weekend, 1,000 words. I really, really needed to hit 2000. For one, I set up my word count goals assuming I’d be able to do about 4000 words over the weekend—something I have not been able to do over the past few months. I am currently about 11,000 words behind goal. Again, better than the whole heap of nothing I’d been responsible for before—I’ve done about 55,000 words this year, so far. How can I possibly complain or berate myself for THAT?

But. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again; if I want short n’ smutties to work, I have to kick things in to gear. And write more. Finish more. It’s ok that I have this series which is BDSM, where each part is 15,000-17,000 words each with a plot arch. That’s a good idea! Some people want more plot with their smut. But that means it takes me two months to write each rather than three weeks, not precisely the business model that will work very well for me. I’ve yet to write something that is a true smut short, 5000 words or less where things happen, executed and are wrapped up in a single tale.  This might not be my forte. It might not be a thing I can pull off even though I want to.

What has also been impeding my productivity is back pain. My back has been giving me trouble ever since college. Back then, it was only ever intermittent. For the past few months, it’s gotten worse. I feel that twinge and I know I’ve got to lay down, stat, or else it will pass some threshold and the agony of a pinched nerve is unending for WEEKS. So far I’ve avoided the worst of it. But it seems to be persistent, always hovering. Worse, I fear it may be that the fancy, supposedly ergonomic desk chair I bought might be making things worse. My fancy office chair might not be much, if any better due to both blatantly being made for full-sized adults.   

Also: two seconds ago I realized it's May 11th and I have not ordered business cards. I fucking have to do that tonight, if I have any hope of being prepared for PHXCC! I am not fucking up like I did at the SDCC. No way, no how. 



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Guess whose got her tickets to the new Avengers, Age of Ultron? This nerd! I'm a-going Thursday night and it'll be hella awesome to hang out in line with all meh friends.
Writing Progress Report: 
I'm still hanging out at about 440 words/day. I'm not falling behind. I'm not geting ahead either. 
So there was a Black Widow fic I wrote after Captian America came out ages ago that I never edited/finished. If you can believe it, I finished that this weekend (it has an ending--not going to comment on whether it's good or not). It's been sent over to my local writing buddy who likes Marvel. I'm not as confident with this fic as I have been with my smutties; some of it's good, but I'm aware it has problems (too bulky). If all goes well and if I have enough time for edits and if I'm lucky, I can start posting late next week. Possibly.   
I am re-posting one of my smut fics that was on Teaspoon over to AO3. 
I have repairs that need to be done around the house which I am not qualified to do on my own. If only I had all the money to have them done. So far, the temperature out here has been in the 80s or lower, so the AC hasn't become a dire situation yet. I fear it will next month. 
Also: I need gutters. Will need to have communication w/ the HOA about this issue to keep water from being dumped so heavily in on my courtyard.  There's another project I don't yet have money for.
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This morning was One of Those Mornings. & snuggled into my chest, purring and happy as I lay comfortably in my bed. She could not fathom why her human pillow up and abandoned her. 
Oversharing: so last night I left my clothes on the bathroom floor when I went to shower. & comes over, sniffing at my underwear. *Gross*. She gets an expression of total disgust on her little face and proceeds to scratch the floor tiles in the attempt to cover them with non-existent  kitty litter. I swear, I put a clean pair on the morning! Yes, it's hot and my crotch sweats, but man, is my ass really hide-it-in-the-litter-box smelly? 
Finished my laundry last night!
Writing: I sprinted w/ my Writing Buddy last night, typed up about 930 words. Woot! I'd like to achieve the same tonight (how awesome would that be?!). 
Been slacking. Still at about 435/day. Not so good. On top of that, I mentioned my lack of progress last year to my Writing Buddy, which lead to discussing that vampire erotica thing I'd been working on, which lead to explaining the concept/plot, which has piqued my interest again. Man, I know it's a good idea. What I wrote wasn't terrible. I like the MCs--they were full and fun. The villianess was terrific. I sat down and plotted the whole thing out, so there is a beginning, middle, and end. I just got to a sticking point, writing and re-writing the same scene that didn't want to work over and over until I rather unconsciously gave up. I guess it's another story to put on the shelf, rather than under the bed to be abandoned. I can't be adding another project to my plate. I have my long Doctor Who fanfic, my short n' smutties to complete, and a D&D campaign to DM. That's more than enough work. 
Tonight, I'm typing shit up. More or less, doing what I should've finished on Sunday--and it's Wednesday. My act, I need to pull it together.
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So far, so good on the employment front.

They rate A+ on free food (cream filled cupcakes today) and because they are a high end office furniture design firm, I have a wonderful, ergonomic chair which I'm reasonably certain is about the equivalent of a month and a half of my salary. My desk is pretty sweet, too, and i have a view of a lovely mountain vista (if you're the type to believe in mountains, that is). They ordered me a wrist cushion and I like the office pens. The conference room is a freezer, but my desk is seated in the sunshine. I don't get too cold under my vista view. 

What do I do, you may ask. Order processing. Not hard; complex. Involved. Nothing is done in order and so my training has been a bit discombobulated.  Every rule has an exception, every project, its quirks. 

Overall, this is a good fit for me (at least for a while).


My word count has plummeted with my average falling to 455/day. 20 days into the month. It's gonna be hard to prop that back up to 500, let alone the 600 I really do need to actually be productive. The good news is, I'm free this weekend. Nothing to do but clean, hang pictures in my house and write. 

Two weeks from now, Ferocious Pipsqueak, a pair of her friends and myself will be trekking to the boonies of Twin Pines resort town for a writing retreat.  She referred to it as 'the cabin'. In reality, it's a resort mansion. Sweeeeeet.    

Bed time

Feb. 5th, 2015 09:20 pm
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It always seems to be bed time by the time I'm into the swing of things.

Will write a little more tomorrow, maybe (I have a friend who might still be in the hospital tomorrow night, and if she is, I'm going to go visit her so might not get much writing done). Saturday, I'm doing writing sprints w/ my buddy 8-4. If she doesn't have work projects. Otherwise, I'll be sprinting on my own. Sunday is Ren Faire! I know Ren Faires are ridiculous. Don't care; got me a 1/2 price ticket, a bunch of single dollar bills and a day out with my friends wandering in the dust. 

W/C: 238 (I know, but I needed to do edits and cut stuff, too--you know the drill)
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A whole chapter of my long DW fic has been posted.

The first draft of a 3 part, BDSM Doctor Who fic that’s about 16,000 words is done. It’s up for revision. Will post this month.

These are important accomplishments. These are part of my getting shit done program. I finished the month of January with about 18,000 words typed up (probably more, since some was written long hand) which is more than I wrote for NaNoWriMo, more than my stated goal of 16,000.

It doesn’t feel like it was quite enough. I’m happy to have resolution to the shorter fanfic and needed to get that chapter posted for my neglected readers.

However, I neglected to do more for my original fics. There are two I am working on. Each have about 1/3rd of the first draft done. I think I need to pick one story as a focus and knock it out in a few weekends. The fanfics I’ll spend a few weekdays on because I need to be regular in my updates. But I really, really need to get a move on my original work because those are on a real world deadline. They will be challenging—they are challenging—but I’ve got to end the shortest month of the year with two first drafts. I’ll still push my 500 words/day goal; I’m beginning to feel it’s too low a goal. There’s always more to do and with only one job, I have the time.   


Personally, I’ve been at sea, riding the waves of contradiction. I’m vacillating between confidence, a sense that I can conquer all the hurdles out in front of me and write like a MoFo, and feeling that I need to face the reality of my situation and seek part-time employment somewhere and hold onto that employment, at least until April/May when I need to seek a new full-time job that pays cashy-money as opposed to poverty wages.

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Not a lot to report. I hung out at home watching the Wimbledon Wibbly Wobblies, played a little of my video game and at 6, wrote with my buddy until about 8:20.
I worked on a side Who fanfic because it's so, so close to being done.

Word Count: 825

Tonight, I have to buy bananas for a party at work tomorrow. I’M BRINGING THE BANANAS TO THE PARTY.  

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It’s been a busy week at my day job. No time to sneak in a journal post. Today, things have calmed considerably, but that may change as one of my coworkers is ducking out for a sick kid. There’s a hitch in the work from home giddie-up. They installed the software on our desktops. We took calls; it sorta works, except if we get in queue. Then the system freaks out and freezes up. Until that’s resolved, we’re back on hard lines and not at home. There’s got to be a fix. I want to go the fuck home.  

The twin continues to have husband troubles. No money. Vacillates daily on what solution to take, when she’s going to act, how to get a lawyer, whether to buy a trailer home or rent an apartment. She’s good and stuck in a terrible position.

Monday, I had a friend from work swing by to discuss the possibility of doing a podcast together. Premise sounds okay, but neither she nor I have a lot of time to dedicate to the thing; she works two jobs and paints. I have one job, but am dedicating 20 hrs a week to writing. As usual, I know I’d be the one doing more or less all the work. I accept this as the norm, as this is how most things go in my life (with a few exceptions, notably my twin). However, I’ve chosen the writing track. I have story ideas. I am currently executing the plan like a goddamn mofo. I may, in actual fact, finish a three-chapter BDSM fanfic before the end of this week. For real. The epic, long-ass WIP is about ready for another chapter to be posted, with the following chapter in the midst of edits, with the following chapter of that in progress of being written. My OF stories are behind, but that’s because I’ve been pouring the effort in to these fanfics which are so freaking close to being finished and I desperately need to have something to hold up as ‘done’.

I need accomplishments in my life, and how.

Did a writing sprint w/ my writing buddy last night:

W/C: 625

Not great, but I also got some editing done, so I can’t exactly complain. I fear I'm slacking off/slowing down. That may be normal, given I'm a month in on this new plan. So far, it's rendered 16,500 words for a variety of fics.

So. Close.

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Progress Report:


OMG. I did a buddy writing sprint with one of my friends yesterday and we bitches got so much shit done. I scheduled myself to write for eight hours. In that time I got 4,100 words typed up. 


That’s right: 4100.


I've acquired an Excel spreadsheet and have tweaked it to track my Word Count goal of 500/day. So far, ten days into the new year, I'm on pace (in large part to having a goddamn full day to dedicate to writing). Yesterday I wrote fanfic. Today, I'm switching it up and working on my original smut towards my ultimate goal of pulling together a collection of Short and Smutties to sell. Late start today. Not good. I won’t have days off next week (this week?) so it’ll be back to stealing an hour here or there for the next seven days. My sprinting buddy and I will do another sprint this afternoon and again next Sunday night. The two of us are severely lacking in time, though not will or desire or talent.


In Job news, the move from the office to work-from-home remains theoretical. I spoke with our IT lady who sets we worker bees up w/ home equipment and she said she hasn’t received the order to prep up to go, though she had heard Supervisor wanted to move us out. I so need this move out of the office; I will be able to get writing shit done and give the cats some much-needed attention and affection. 

Edit: 2600 words typed up today, original short n smutty. This is me. Getting shit done.
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I applied for a part-time position at multiple coffee-serving chains. The plan is to look up some full-time positions tonight and apply to at least one that pays more than what I currently earn. Le sigh. Why, o, why can this not be easy? Or simple? 

Last night was productive. I wrote longhand new smut for book--the lead up and the start of the making-out. It's been a super tricky scene for me to get right for some goddamn reason. Well. For reasons that the characters weren't in character. Once I took a few steps back into their voices, it has been working waaay better. I'd skipped over it and was writing other stuff all last week. I have--woah there, Night Vale; thanks a lot for that way too appropriate comment Cecil--I have so much work to do, but according to my outline (have I mentioned how proud I am of my outline/that it exists/that there is a workable story?) I am terrifyingly close to the MIDPOINT (which according to my beat sheet, is about 1/3rd of the way through). Now, I get to foster a college radio program and a vibrant sex life for my couple and some classes that are going well for my MC. That is, before her niggling relationship fears, the sword of Damocles that is her mother, and a paranoid Queen Vampress upset the balance.

Dampening my cheerful progress in noveling is my dead broke-ness. It is outstandingly depressing to see a total of $40 in my bank account. That hasn't happened in . . . I don't actually know when last I've been this broke. I've never been this broke, not even when I had no job--because when I had no job, I had very, very few other bills and those bills were very low. I've over stretched myself with my cell phone and car pmts and car insurance and a couch and a job that pays pittance (but doesn't totally suck right now). A pitty that by the time my job has stopped sucking, it's stopped paying me money.

Nothing for it. Just have to keep applying for work elsewhere and write, write, write. A smutty book will be worth a few extra dollars for gas and cat food, yeah? Keep those stars of cover food, gas, and cat noms in my eyes.

Edit: It's evening. Have been productive. Applied for a full time job. Someone just freaking hire me. Now, it's time to novel. 
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Don’t ask me about my job search. It is not resulting in anything. Not giving up. I’m going to pretty myself up and appear at some places I applied to this afternoon and say, “Hey, I applied. I know you at least were hiring. I am totes interested and proactive, consider me!”.


My novel outline is complete, along with a beat sheet. I keep staring at it as the marvel it is: not a clever idea, not a PWP, but a real, live roadmap to what might pass as a book.


There is a lot to do. O man, o man. There is so much to do and look at all I’ve done!  It’s a four-page, fairly detailed Outline. I’ve done just about everything on page one and a little of page two.  Yet it’s been almost a year working on this (8-ish months?). I should be much further along than I am if I’m any hope of finishing the first draft. Again, I just have to remember:  it doesn’t have to be good, it has to be done.


Now to set complete-scenes-by dates. This is terrifying. No more languishing, no more pacing my room (who am I kidding?) well, at least less procrastinating. More doing. More job application. Digging myself out of this mire I've been in for years.

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So I worked on my outline yesterday. Got distracted by outlining a short scene; ended up writing said scene. Short. Like, 500 words or so. Writing scenes, however short or distracting, is good.  Not having my outline completed in two weeks is bad. Am mad at myself. It was not an unreasonable goal/expectation to have and could have been achieved. Friday I did very little and Saturday I did jack all. Sunday I did okay. Could have done better if I'd buckled down sooner and didn't have to stop in the middle of what I was doing to go run errands.

Enough beating myself up. Gonna see if I can't write things out longhand here at work if we're not too busy.

**Ugh, just got a project assigned to me. I don't think I have any hope of writing during office hours.
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On the one hand, I have more or less caught up with my daily WC. On the other, I can't help but be aware of how much more I could do. I spent about two and a half hours last night watching TV. Granted, my 'monthly' had arrived along with what for me is mild cramping. Sucks. But I took a lot of pills and kept the pain to a minimum. Ugh. Stupid, messing up my schedule.

One thing I have not kept up with is job applications. I need to keep it up and apply and apply and apply. I even have two companies in mind to apply to/at.

Aaaand I was just informed we have a flex schedule at work which means I can work after hours today and make up for the time I previously took as vacation on Monday, today, and get my vacation time back. I will do this as I get my vacation time back AND the hours I make up will be off the phone. I don't think my Supervisor will be around after the first 1/2 hr, hour, so that means writing time. I am going to work, guys.

When I get home: food, apply for new job/s. Life has been stomping all over me. It's time I stomped right back.
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I am not progressing the way I wish I'd progress.

The above is an accurate assessment of my writing. I forced myself to delete the first sentence I wrote which was flat out that I wasn't making any progress. That is not true. I wrote about three pages of critical story today. I'll liable to write a few sentences more before bed.

The reason why I'm disappointed in me is that it's not enough and I don't have excuses. I've had the time.  Last weekend and this weekend I had practically nothing that needed doing, only writing. I have the resources: plenty of my favorite journal and pens and my computer is functioning. Procrastination, I am a citizen of of your country.

But I might be suffering from more than simply procrastination. Weirdly, I've been feeling anxious and intimidated by the scope of what I'm doing. There's also the snowball effect where when I don't meet my goal yesterday or the week before, there's no way I can catch up (of course there is!) and being so far behind makes me feel like a failure since I honestly feel like I set the bar to a low, achievable level, so if I'm already a failure what's the point in even trying to catch up? Then I do nothing and the next day I'm EVEN FURTHER BEHIND.

That is stupid thinking. It is defeatist. It's the kind of insidious thought that keeps me muzzled to a telephone at a bad job. It doesn't let the story out and caged stories bite and scratch and tear away at your insides.

There's been lots of good, productive Life Things I've done. I've organized a planning session to sync up San Diego Comic-Con schedules with my friends. I've gone over the SDCC schedule. No Doctor Who party or panel this year. At a glance, it appears that I'll be spending a LOT of time at how-to panels and advice about not only writing but marketing and writing queries and pitches.  I know, I know. VERY aspirational. That's all I am these days. But the more you know, right?

Don't even start me on my day job. When GISHWES ends after the first week of August, it will be time to dust off the old resume and begin job hunting: the dreaded, agonizing, painful and humiliating Job Hunt. But if it means I end up with a job that's less phone/customer service based and $12/hr (dare I dream more?), I WILL BE MOVING UP IN THE WORLD.

No more journaling. Nor self-pity. That's enough for the week; I've plenty going really well for me. 

Word count: Three written pages
WC goal: 500 words between tonight and tomorrow night.
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Yesterday, I heard two, TWO birds chirping at my like angry squeaky toys. I couldn't see them both, but I choose to believe that its my tiny tree neighbors and that the female is recovered.

Welp. Had opportunity to reach my word count goal this weekend. Did not. But I DID write and I got a few of the fiddly bits smoothed over. More deleted. Need to STOP EDITING, IT'S NOT TIME YET. Journaling might make it harder to keep track of WC, but it keeps me from the editing, pushes me forward. And it let my poor, carpel tunnel-y left hand rest.

Scenes written: Alligator in the bathtub. Set-up to table sex (as you do).

Word Count: 1.000-ish words.
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Yesterday's Goal: 450
WC: ?? 2 journal pages, so not bad.

I read the teaser booklet for Naomi Novak's next book, "Uprooted." Any book where a peasant girl knocks a prince bloody with a tea tray gets bonus points. What doesn't get any points is that it DOESN'T COME OUT UNTIL 2015. (Oh god, oh god, 2015. Naomi has my email. I have to make what? Did she look at me and think, "Kasia"? I may have cried a little.)

Not great, but decent. I think I've got some of the problems I'd had with this scene worked out. I know I've said that before, but it's true: all the drama is sucking the fun out of it and once the drama is played out, dry blandness is left. Gotta get back on the pony and novel. This will be tricky, as my left hand and my back hurt. A lot.

And research / make photo gallery of traditional Polish dresses. (But only AFTER noveling!)

Today's Goal: 450 words
nepenthe: (Blue Glass Girl)

I've not done nearly all I could do. Last night, the two hours I wasted on tumblr and websites could have been spent writing. Two whole freaking hours and that sill would have left me 3 to putz around! I've not set a goal to climb Everest here: everything is totes achievable.

Word Count Goal: 300
Yesterday WC: 230 (ish)

Deficit: 140
Today's goal: 450 words

This is my life, this can be my greatest achievement in a goddamn decade. Let's do this! It is fun and REWARDING! I need to remember this when I get back home tonight.

nepenthe: (Default)
Yesterday's progress: 
WC Goal: 300
Word Count: 200 (and a lot of deleting old stuff)

Not bad. Not great. Today, I'm totally off track :(
nepenthe: (Default)
Am at work, reporting in. On the up side, I got all my laundry done and I feel as though I was busy, busy, busy either making myself dinner or unloading the dishwasher or taking out the trash or whatever had to be finished before work started up and using my spare time to fold or write or outline, and yet I did not reach my goal. So I was productive, but not quite successful. Maybe I can steal some time from work for writing.

Outline: 710 words
Story WC: 900 (ugh)


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June 2017

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