I’m certain there is a circle of hell that consists solely of souls doomed to fill out online job application forms.
I have many problems. I laid them all out for my counselor today and she pointed out that my most imminent problem has arisen in the form of this ‘verbal warning’ at work in combo with my attempt to purchase a condo. At work, I have three months to turn ship-shape or else. As this is traditionally our slowest, worst season of the year, turning things around when there are no calls and cruises are dirt cheap, me pulling this off is unlikely, to say the least. Then the housing combo: one of the home loan requirements for someone with low income, like me, is a steady job history over 3 years. Ergo, if I’m to own a condo or townhouse, the loan must be secured and I’ll need to move before I am fired. Possibly 3, maybe 4 months from now. If I do not secure a place to live and I get fired, it will be another three years before I can try this again.
Add to this deadline the irritating fact securing a new job is FAR EASIER if you ALREADY HAVE ONE, realistically, I have a month or two to find a place to live, then, maybe, one or two months to obtain a new job so I can afford to pay off my brand new, shiny mortgage.
If I can pull this off, if I can get through the new job’s trial period and all the other usual new job bullshit, I will be so, so, SO much better off than I am right now.
If, if, if.
Worst case scenario: I don’t find a condo I want/like/can afford/be approved for in time.
Outcome: I stay in this apartment I’m currently leasing and like (yay). I kill my car loan (yay). I apply for a new job until my fingers bleed.
Worst case scenario: I don’t find a condo and am fired before I secure a new job.
Outcome: I still have my apartment to lease. I don’t need to kill my car loan, just pay things as they go. I will cxl my cable, keep my internet. The money I have for the house down payment can be used to house and feed me (and the kitties) and keep the lights on. I will apply for jobs. And apply and apply. Someone will hire me, eventually.
Things to remember while interviewing/writing resume:
1. First and foremost: The truth, but only ever from a certain point of view. When applying for his first job writing for a journal, Neil Gaiman listed some magazines that sounded likely and got the job. Later he’d write for all of them. If you ignore that time is linear, it was not a lie.
2. Second: spin whatever question they ask into answering what I will do for them. We are all selfish. Companies most of all. If they ask why I’m leaving my current job, I’ll say, it’s because I know I can give more, do more, but where I am doesn’t provide the growth potential I’m looking for. Remembering #1, I need not mention the employment growth I’m interested in is writing supernatural erotica or romance.
I’ve gone on too long. It’s good for me to reframe my headspace to prepare to dive into the job market. I’ve updated my resume already. It’s now time for me to revisit the notes I took interviewing (and being mock interviewed by) my uncle Dave (who, in his day, worked HR). I need to remind myself of all the hints and dos and don’ts before I dive into filling out this temp job form. A temp job could provide me with weekend work, given I will have a new schedule in a few weeks that—get this—allows me Saturday and Sunday off.
Whelp. Off to review notes. Tomorrow is work, work, work.