Goes Somer * Goesomer * Gossamer

Coming in During a Hot Summer

2017-06-29T19:48:01Z

*Door creaks open*

Hello? Is anybody here? It sure has been a while with lots happening (or not).

Quick life-stats rundown:

· My back has caused me problems for years and in a fit of being fed up, I hounded my doctor to identify the real cause and address it rather than take a few bullshit muscle relaxers and be told ‘have better posture’. Turns out, I have ‘a little’ scoliosis and several of my thoracic vertebra have limited flexibility. The physical therapist was all: “I may have found the problem. Your thoracic vertebra have 0 range of motion.” No lie, I spent a few days very angry. Years. It has been more than a decade I went in to see doctors complaining of pain by my spine and no one thought to *check if it could move*. I’m mad, I didn’t think of it or insist someone check. (Apparently your spine losing range is a thing that can happen after they crack your ribs for open heart surgery). The good news is that after two weeks of physical therapy, the therapist said I gained 11 degrees of motion (up from 0!). Normal is 30 degrees. So I’ll be keeping up the exercise and stretching even after therapy ends (because insurance). My back does feel better and I have noticed it causes me less pain. This is an ongoing Thing that will be a Thing.

· I’m taking burlesque classes with my roomie! I’m not good at it but I’m getting better! One day I will be sexy.

· I’ve written one short and one novella length fanfic(s.) Am ‘working’ on a couple of Luke Skywalker/Mara Jade fanfics. Half-assed I must admit due to my aversion to sitting in chairs for long periods of time and having a job that takes up my daily allotment of chair-sitting tolerance.

· I work as an online tutor! Theoretically, and also theoretically an English tutor. In practice, I spend a lot of time doing a lot of school-administrative tasks and tutoring math. It is not a work-from-home job, even if it sounds like it could be.

· I own a house! It is a three-story town house and I have 2 roommates/renters who are both lovely people.

· I still have my 2 cats, Coco Puff and & (Ampersand). They are my darlings. Coco still loves boxes and eating shit that isn’t food. Is partial to consuming plastic bags. My cupboards have child-proof safety locks.

Any cool stuff happen while you were away?

· Kinda? I won a $100 dollar gift-certificate over PHX-CC at the Evening Erotica panel for re-writing “Green Eggs and Ham” as “Pink Marzipan”. It was pretty awesome.

o They know who I am.

o I thought I could handle one watered-down drink at Drinks with Authors.

o I cannot handle one watered-down drink at Drinks with Authors.

§ And no, it was not a matter of joyously chatting with a lady about what was in her homunculus tumor.

o At no point did I make an ass of myself in front of Timothy Zahn! Huzzah!

· Twin has divorced her husband. (no one could see this coming, omg, so surprising, woa)

o He made a bunch of sexist/racist remarks at work. In the Navy. He is being sent to bum-fuck Rhode Island as a demotion. Remarkable he was not fired outright.

Any cool stuff planned?

o Gonna drive out to San Diego at the end of July to hang with the Twin for almost a week. While I’m out there, we’re going to a John Williams symphony and I will ‘visit’ her writing group. They are very excited to have me stop in (I know this because they mistakenly thought I was coming last night).

o The Twin’s writer’s group . . . is infamous around my house and amongst my friends, as I keep telling them the horror stories. I don’t know why the Twin keeps going. I mean, yeah. I know why. They’re useful in their own way, and she knows she has a lot of growth ahead of her. Some of the people can help her grow in those areas.

o They write cringe-y, pedophilic and rape-y shit. Fit only for pornos. Also, a dude writing a script where a lawyer tries to prove dinosaurs never existed in a court of law. Dino Lawyer included 2 paragraphs dedicate to explaining how jurors seat themselves in a jury box.

o Garbage fic. Garbage people.

o The guy who runs the group is the exception: the Twin says he’s crazy nice! And good at writing!

o I can’t fucking wait. I WILL FIND OUT WHO PEDO STEVE IS (if the Twin has not scared him off for good).

o Burlesque classes are a thing I’m taking/doing. I cannot remain a couch commando and nothing motivates me to move less than running in a circle in 111 degree heat. Arizona is fucking hot and sweaty as Satan’s balls right now. But I can be motivated to move if it’s to some jazzy instrumental music while I attempt to look sexy.

o Do not imagine I look sexy.

o My instructor has looked upon me in despair at least twice per session.

o Dyslexia + wall of mirrors = OMG, BRAINFUNCTIONFAILUR DIRECTIONAL MISCOMPUTATION WHEN DID WE ADD HORIZONTAL AND VERTICAL AXES TO LEFT AND RIGHT? THAT IS FOUR ADDITIONAL DIRECTIONS ON TOP OF LEFT AND RIGHT DOES THIS MEAN THERE ARE SIX DIRECTIONS?!

o I get frustrated very, very easily. I have more ‘fun’ with it practicing at home than at class. (I can control if I look into a mirror at home).

o There have also been times where I’ve laid in bed after class and told myself that if you’re this angry and frustrated, the class isn’t worth it at all.

o Have realized it was that the first instructor and I did not jive/she did not do a good job of communicating how to do the moves in a way a total, complete novice could follow.

o I heard about the class through a coworker who is working towards performing on stage.

o I write a lot of erotica these days, but don’t think of myself as ‘sexy’. Cute, yes. Not so sexy. I think this is an attempt to bridge my mental and physical spaces.

o I wanna do the splits, bitches. I have wanted to do the splits since I was a child in gymnastics. CHILDHOOD DREAM, HERE I COME. I’m slowly lowering myself to this goal.

o Fanfic!

o I have several works-in-progress. I have not progressed much in the past month:

§ Mostly because I’m a lazy motherfucker.

§ Partially because my back is fucked up.

§ Partially because I have a daily stretching and workout routine(s). First, for my back. Second, for burlesque.

§ I still have to adult/clean/get groceries/cook.

o They are Luke/Mara fics because your early loves don’t die.

o Mara deserves better than she has ever received.

o Two fics are excuses for smut.

o One is hurt/comfort and not explicit. (Yet).

o One is. . .an AU for Mara. I may wait until we hear the final word from Disney about what they intend for Mara (if they will disassemble her character for traits and give her parts to other women or find a new place for her in their new version of the universe, as they have for Thrawn) before I figure out how to do the second part of the story.

o One is a thing from last year which was based off a premise proposed on some Tumblr post as, “What if Vader survived Endor.” And my brain ran away from me.

o I’ve identified that I have a serious problem writing out/solving/coming up with endings. Srsly, if I have a fatal flaw, it’s that I stall out at coming up with an ending—any ending to anything at all.

o Original Fic?

o We’ll see. I have an idea for a premise/some stuff written, but again, it stalls out at coming up with an ending.

o Is there a Writing Excuses thing about coming up with an ending? That doesn’t suck? And is satisfying?

o There’s another Star Wars movie coming out in December!!!

o My BAAAAABIES! *kisses Rey, Finn, and Poe*

o There’s a Cpt. Phasma book coming out that I’m intrigued to read.

Little ever comes of anything I plan, but I think I'll try to contribute more to this journal. Specifically, I'll try to contribute more adventures with Coco (and sometimes & or my roommate's cat, Haberdash).

Take care ya'll.

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nepenthe @ 2015-05-20T11:31:00

2015-05-20T20:23:50Z

Personal:

I woke up with a bunch of bug bites on my legs yesterday--didn't discover the bites until I was undressing after work the next day. I had bedcovers over me and was wearing shorts. They're not like mosquito bites and that'd be unlikely anyway, given how many there are and the fact I had covers. Spider are solitary and don't leave more than one or two. If they were fleas, it'd be where I had hair, not my bare legs and ankles. I fear I may have bed bugs. I took apart the sheets, lifted the mattresses looking for any sign, but found nothing. Need to prepare/set traps/buy mattress covers to try and prevent outbreak while it's small. Or simply take it as a precaultionary measure.

I got a bunch of cleaning and laundry done!

The twin and her family are coming to visit this weekend! I'll be staying at my aunt's place over the weekend. (means I won't be getting much, if any, writing done). The twin mentioned going to the small petting zoo. As for other things to do, I don't know what we'll do. Lightning Octopus doesn't usually post until Thursdays. There is a balloon festival. That might be fun with the kids.

Writing:

The usual lack of progress. Looks like I've spent about 2 months on this 'short' story that I'm inching along. Last night, Dani and I met in our chat room, but began late and she had to stop short. I was distracted by bug hunting. All told, not a productive night, with maybe 100 words written. Tonight, I've got to get the writing done. I'd love it if there could be nothing else on my mind to worry about.

And maybe I'll sleep on the couch to avoid bite problems.

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Taking Care of Business Cards

2015-05-12T16:03:55Z

It took me all night to a) find and b) write/edit/order business cards for conventions. I had to find ones visually appealing, that are thematically appropriate for a person who writes erotic fiction, and of course are the sort of design that my information fits/looks good on. I think I did alright for an English major.

Ordering was absolutely necessary. The deadline to receive the cards before the PHXCC was last night. I can not, I am not, making the same mistakes I made last year where professionals and designers and Naomi Novik were asking after my 'portfolio' or for a business card and I had nothing to give them, closing so many important connections and doors.

Obviously, I don't have any stories written/published/posted aside from my fanfiction. I'm not ready to publish any short stories yet. I fear I won't be ready for another year which is not necessarily bad. I imagine it's better if I start late and publish good stuff on schedule rather than start early with bad stuff and be unable to maintain/keep a schedule. And I DO have stuff to promote: my fanfiction! Yeah, it's two stories, one long and unwieldy that's incomplete, but in all I have over 100,000 words of smut posted on the internet. That's not nothing. Not to mention, I would like to make friends and show off my cosplays, passingly professional. And I wouldn't mind spreading my tumblr urls like glitter-herpes. These are worthwhile to make friends and promote interest in my creative works.

Maybe I have gotten a little ahead of myself. Perhaps it was a little forward to include a pen name for erotic fiction I've not published yet and won't for a while (I was thinking ahead, about how I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO REPRINT, I AM NOT MADE OF MONEY). I've got legit stuff I want people to take notice of and now, if Naomi Novik's asks for my card so she can call me about doing cosplays for her new book, I can proudly hand over a professional card. Instead of getting home, realizing my mistake and crying fat tears all over the preview booklet for Uprooted.

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nepenthe @ 2015-05-11T10:13:00

2015-05-11T19:08:21Z

So Saturday was once more a writing sprint day. I did what I suppose could be considered the bare minimum for a weekend, 1,000 words. I really, really needed to hit 2000. For one, I set up my word count goals assuming I’d be able to do about 4000 words over the weekend—something I have not been able to do over the past few months. I am currently about 11,000 words behind goal. Again, better than the whole heap of nothing I’d been responsible for before—I’ve done about 55,000 words this year, so far. How can I possibly complain or berate myself for THAT?

But. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again; if I want short n’ smutties to work, I have to kick things in to gear. And write more. Finish more. It’s ok that I have this series which is BDSM, where each part is 15,000-17,000 words each with a plot arch. That’s a good idea! Some people want more plot with their smut. But that means it takes me two months to write each rather than three weeks, not precisely the business model that will work very well for me. I’ve yet to write something that is a true smut short, 5000 words or less where things happen, executed and are wrapped up in a single tale. This might not be my forte. It might not be a thing I can pull off even though I want to.

What has also been impeding my productivity is back pain. My back has been giving me trouble ever since college. Back then, it was only ever intermittent. For the past few months, it’s gotten worse. I feel that twinge and I know I’ve got to lay down, stat, or else it will pass some threshold and the agony of a pinched nerve is unending for WEEKS. So far I’ve avoided the worst of it. But it seems to be persistent, always hovering. Worse, I fear it may be that the fancy, supposedly ergonomic desk chair I bought might be making things worse. My fancy office chair might not be much, if any better due to both blatantly being made for full-sized adults.

Also: two seconds ago I realized it's May 11th and I have not ordered business cards. I fucking have to do that tonight, if I have any hope of being prepared for PHXCC! I am not fucking up like I did at the SDCC. No way, no how.

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Keeping On, keeping on

2015-05-07T16:56:43Z

The Sickness is over, for the most part. Stuffiness and chapped nostrils remain. I was EXHAUSTED when I got home from work yesterday and napped for, like, an hour and a half.

No writing was done last night, but I did finish ye olde novel, convoluted as its plot was, contrived as its male lead was, melodramatic as it was. I'm not sure what I've learned aside from: dudes have been intentionally obtuse selfish dicks for a long-ass time.

Tonight's plans are to do a grocery run. Cook food when I get home. Eat. Write a little. I should also throw in continue to read and learn to be a DM. I'll work on prepping the game this weekend. I also need to throw in 'cleaning'--vacuuming. I have the time.

I have dreams:

Last night's dreams were NOT violent and disturbing, huzzah! They involved doing a photo shoot that was for some random person's wedding (which involved me at a church and wearing a corset) and Morgan Freeman sharing wisdom with me and my twin.

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Revenge of the 5th

2015-05-05T22:09:41Z

I stayed at home today; in part, my nose is still runny, my throat sore, and I'm stuffy-headed though I could have toughed it out at the office. What decided it for me was that I knew the A/C dude would be coming by to clean the coils and I had to be here. $170 later, the A/C is fixed! That's right; one problem is solved. Now I need to work out how I'm to solve the other repair problem--the leak in my basement.

I'm tempted to take a nap, but I need to fall asleep on time this evening--I was awake until about 2 AM in spite of the fact I went to bed at 10:30.

I have dreams:
My fucked up dreams continue. Last night, I dreamed the coworker who has been training me shot a dude in the face. Why have all my dreams been violent and distressing of late?

That old novel I've been reading is alright. It's far-fetched and melodramatic, yet at time painfully accurate in its depiction of scumbag men who will not leave a lady alone when she's not interested. It's depressing that dudes who can't take hints--to whom a polite 'no, thanks' or obvious polite declining of attention or affection means 'harass away'--has been going on for nigh on forever if it was happening 250 years ago.

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May the 4th be with You (I'm sick)

2015-05-04T21:20:21Z

This is my fourth day of being sick. I’ve had snot running from my nose and tears out of my eyes and an earache. I’ve destroyed 2 boxes of tissues. Made a mountain of mucus filled white tissues on the opposite end of the couch. I fear I may need to take a day off just to recover from being this fucking sick.

So gross. In a year’s time, I think this is the 4^th time I’ve been sick—and not a little sick, a lot sick.

On the up side, I drew out the whole fair grounds for the D&D campaign.

I have dreams:
I’ve had some disturbing dreams of late. Being chased. Attacked. Death and mayhem. This last one was so fucking disturbing. One part of it I’m not going to share. I’m not superstitious, but it’s bad juju. Worse than being chased around the neighborhood by an albino python, being bit by said python, and pulling out the teeth of said python.

I couldn’t tell you what’s up with my subconscious. Whatever happened to my afternoon teas with Neil Gaiman?

Writing:
So I wrote maybe 200 words of story this weekend. So far behind. So. Far. I did not finish a short fic in April. UGH. Defeatist thinking won’t get me anywhere. I am writing. Obviously, getting super sick was not part of the plan and I should NOT get myself down for needing to sleep 14 hours a day and still feeling tired as I struggle to re-hydrate the massive fluid loss.

To try and be productive, I’m going to read today. One, a novel written in 1778. We’ll see if it’s any good. It may provide me with inspiration. I also need to read the D&D guide books—I want to better understand the rules and how shit works. I want to be a good DM! I also need to set up the entire adventure, flesh out the fun. I’ve begun to suspect my group won’t make it out of the springtime faire they’re starting out in—that’d be okay. But I need to be prepared if they DO make it out of the faire.

Anywho. I hope my all-of-two readers take care and NOT catch this awful cold.

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Fun Times

2015-04-30T22:01:40Z

Super stoked for the movie tonight.

The plan is to light out of work (where I am now) at the stroke of 3:15. Head home, grab food, make sure the kitties are okay. See that & eats. She's been a finike eater for about the past year, year and a half. When I got home from work yesterday, she turned her little nose up at noms. Before bed, she nibbled. I thought that by this morning she'd be starving, but again, nibbles. She was far more interested in playing with her toy, which we did. I fear I'll have to shut the door to keep Coco out and let & graze. This would not be an issue, except my bedroom gets hella hot and we don't got no A/C at the moment.

Not that & leaves the room even when she can.

Writing sprints went well last night. I got in about 600 words, go me. I don't expect to get much of anything--nothing at all--done tonight.

This weekend's goals: 2000 words Saturday. Sunday, I need to pull together my D&D campaign, see if I can't wrangle this cray-cray story into the technical play. . .stuff.

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Work Quotes

2015-04-29T19:06:23Z

Overheard at Work:

Regarding doughnuts: "They're heroin-ly delicious!"

"It's not rocket surgery"

Today is the day. I'm going to call about A/C repair. We're about to hit the triple digits and my furry babies can't take the heat. Not that I think I have the money to cover this repair, mind you. I don't. But I've got two things to do today: schedule the A/C dude to come out and do the cleaning and re-sign-up for homeowner's around the house-shit-breaking-down insurance.

Come on, universe. I've only been making more money for a month and a half; that is NOT long enough to pay my bills.

Progress Report: I only wrote 200 words last night; my writing buddy bailed on me, so I putted around. I have to keep reminding myself of how hard it will be to do any sort of make-up word count at the end of next month due to all the shit I have to do.

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nepenthe @ 2015-04-28T12:13:00

2015-04-28T20:10:06Z

Guess whose got her tickets to the new Avengers, Age of Ultron? This nerd! I'm a-going Thursday night and it'll be hella awesome to hang out in line with all meh friends.

Writing Progress Report:

I'm still hanging out at about 440 words/day. I'm not falling behind. I'm not geting ahead either.

So there was a Black Widow fic I wrote after Captian America came out ages ago that I never edited/finished. If you can believe it, I finished that this weekend (it has an ending--not going to comment on whether it's good or not). It's been sent over to my local writing buddy who likes Marvel. I'm not as confident with this fic as I have been with my smutties; some of it's good, but I'm aware it has problems (too bulky). If all goes well and if I have enough time for edits and if I'm lucky, I can start posting late next week. Possibly.

I am re-posting one of my smut fics that was on Teaspoon over to AO3.

Adulting:

I have repairs that need to be done around the house which I am not qualified to do on my own. If only I had all the money to have them done. So far, the temperature out here has been in the 80s or lower, so the AC hasn't become a dire situation yet. I fear it will next month.

Also: I need gutters. Will need to have communication w/ the HOA about this issue to keep water from being dumped so heavily in on my courtyard. There's another project I don't yet have money for.

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Progress Report: No New Projects--Need to Finish Existing

2015-04-22T17:40:12Z

This morning was One of Those Mornings. & snuggled into my chest, purring and happy as I lay comfortably in my bed. She could not fathom why her human pillow up and abandoned her.

Oversharing: so last night I left my clothes on the bathroom floor when I went to shower. & comes over, sniffing at my underwear. *Gross*. She gets an expression of total disgust on her little face and proceeds to scratch the floor tiles in the attempt to cover them with non-existent kitty litter. I swear, I put a clean pair on the morning! Yes, it's hot and my crotch sweats, but man, is my ass really hide-it-in-the-litter-box smelly?

Finished my laundry last night!

Writing: I sprinted w/ my Writing Buddy last night, typed up about 930 words. Woot! I'd like to achieve the same tonight (how awesome would that be?!).

Been slacking. Still at about 435/day. Not so good. On top of that, I mentioned my lack of progress last year to my Writing Buddy, which lead to discussing that vampire erotica thing I'd been working on, which lead to explaining the concept/plot, which has piqued my interest again. Man, I know it's a good idea. What I wrote wasn't terrible. I like the MCs--they were full and fun. The villianess was terrific. I sat down and plotted the whole thing out, so there is a beginning, middle, and end. I just got to a sticking point, writing and re-writing the same scene that didn't want to work over and over until I rather unconsciously gave up. I guess it's another story to put on the shelf, rather than under the bed to be abandoned. I can't be adding another project to my plate. I have my long Doctor Who fanfic, my short n' smutties to complete, and a D&D campaign to DM. That's more than enough work.

Tonight, I'm typing shit up. More or less, doing what I should've finished on Sunday--and it's Wednesday. My act, I need to pull it together.

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nepenthe @ 2015-04-16T13:48:00

2015-04-16T21:43:22Z

Who loves the new Daredevil? Who has watched all 13 violent episodes? Who needs more Claire in her life? This lady!

Who was supposed to be writing this weekend and instead spent all her Sunday watching Netflix? (this lady :( )

I'm at work right now. I'm tired and I'm ready to go home. Today has felt like a long slog which it definitely has been. The place between, 'oh, man, I've got a lot of shit to do,' and 'all this stuff is kinda really boring'. And I have the beginnings of a headache.

We're all going to wait and see how things go for me today. I might take a nap when I get home, sleep off whatever this dopiness is that's got me held back. Not that I can afford it given how little I've written and how much I have yet to write. Last night, first productive writing night of the week.

Word Count: 700-ish

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Goal Revisions and Focus Renewal

2015-04-10T17:37:55Z

No news is good news, right?

Word Count: 760. I could have done better, but I'll take it. Slowly upping my work count. If I manage 1500 tonight, I'll push over 450/day--a feat I could achieve easily, given I'm typing up what's in my journal. Then, it's writing all day Saturday, then D&D planning party Saturday night. Doesn't look like I'll have the first draft of second story typed up as per goal--I had the time, didn't buckle down. I need to work this smut; the month is 1/3rd over. Spending 3 hours tonight on writing would be an excellent reward for a stressful week--and a few inches closer to a life lived fully. May is coming! 3 smutty first drafts by May 1. That means this first draft needs to be done before 5 PM Saturday.

I probably won't be done in time for PHX-CC as I aspired back in January. It was always an ambitious timeline to be done by PHX. SDCC, tho. I had fucking better get my shit together. We only have tickets for one day - Sunday. If I can't get in and enjoy 5 days of fandom fun, I may as well make lemonade out of these lemons and spend my time on the street busking. Busking at the Geek and Sundry lounge playing tabletop games. Busking during the Nerdist party. In lines, industry parities. Throwing around business cards like it's nobody's business. I can't afford to pass up a mass gathering of nerds. This go 'round will be a self-promotion trip. And hanging out with my friends and my twin. And making friends. Less time at the convention proper, sadly.

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Another Personal Rant

2015-04-09T17:39:03Z

So I got my first real paycheck with my new job. It was awesome. I'm still quite broke given I didn't earn very much last month and this check going to be spent almost all at once, but it will float me to the next paycheck so long as I eat ramen and I don't owe more than $250 to the IRS when the deadline arrives. I fear I might owe the government more than that, which is why I'm waiting to pay the insurance on the townhouse until I know for sure.

In related news, I think it might be in my best interest to look for a second job. Again. To earn extra money-axes to throw at my debt and fix my AC. Or, hell, buy a new AC. If I'm honest with myself, I'm not really in the financial position to make smutty short stories my second job yet. Will I? Eventually, but not for a while at the rate I'm going. As much as I hated, HATED working two jobs at once and as unlikely as it is I'll find something that will pay $11/hr, being so damn broke all the time with a mountain of debt is nerve-wracking.

Here's to squeaking by another month! (Somehow).

Word Count: 150 (I know, I was very bad last night)

EDIT: It's not final, but my twin think she's found that the US govn't owes ME $500! I'm really, really hoping this is the case. That would make convention season magical.

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Progress Report: Tax Season

2015-04-08T15:28:19Z

Slow and steady wins the race. Getting by with a little help from my friends (twin).

So I gave in and have had my twin help me with filing my taxes. She's super awesome for helping me. The amendment of my 2013 tax for has netted me money and I'm hoping the 2014 won't cost me much. Breaking even would make me happy. Don't know if that will happen. A little freaked out about it. We'll see how well this goes--who knows.

The temperature has been good, so I'm not going to worry about my broken AC. Yet. Panicking will do me no good.

Writing: 650 words last night. Am close to averaging 450 words / day. I need to ramp things up. Tonight is for typing up the shit I wrote this past weekend--don't expect to get all of it typed, but close. If I buckle down, I'll be done before Friday night. That way, I can wrap this short Friday night/Saturday morning. Then, I need to carry on with carrying on--start another short story. I was planning on working my fanfic, but it's taking a back seat to getting publishable stuff done (I really need to concentrate). If I have three short stories in my modern BDSM series done by the end of April, that'll be something. I need to work on my historical Rome smut, and how.

I'm going to try this D&D planning party once more this Saturday evening. Fingers crossed everybody!

Also! Work is going well. I've been here less than a month and they gave me the key to the building and office. Nothing says they're probably going to keep you like giving over the keys. Job security!

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nepenthe @ 2015-04-06T13:08:00

2015-04-06T20:46:29Z

When things are about to come together, that's when it all falls apart.

Worst news first: my AC is broken. I had it fixed about a month and a half ago when the heat wasn't working and it cost me $1400. It's broke again. If I'd had/have the money, I'd buy a new one. No dice. I'm still a broke and will be broke for some time, yet I need to pay my taxes (which I still need to finish and am intimidated by the new forms), pay the HOA insurance claim which ballooned up 20% from last year and now I have no AC. Which isn't a big deal yet, even if we are having the hottest spring ever. In about a month, it will become an issue given that while I could tough it out, the cats can't.

I've been scraping by, but I don't know how I'm going to solve all of these problems.

Writing this weekend was productive, at least 2500 words. I'm close to finishing the first draft of the second short n' smutty; that needs to be done like hell. I had fun. We played Settlers of Catan and noob Dani won. My twin randomly sent me a pink ceramic jackalope jewelry holder BECAUSE REASONS.

All of it was sadly eclipsed by no AC.

Anywho. I'm going to fill up and wash my car after work, eat, call my twin about taxes.

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So I'd like to be a DM . . .

2015-03-31T04:32:08Z

Job:

The new job is going okay. I'm still on that unhappy learning curve, which I know will take a long time given that this is the sort of job where no two orders are alike, no two order processes are alike. It is a busy job--I've always got stuff to do. My coworkers are nice and I'm doing my best to integrate. I have confidence that after 3 months of this I'll have some notion of what I'm doing.

Personal:

I'm declaring myself a DM and wrangling my friends to join me on a D&D campaign. Or attempting to wrangle. The only person who made it to my open-door character party was the experienced D&D player. Two people canceled. Even so, I'll probably have about 4 players, which is perfect. Not that I really have time to do this sort of thing, but hey. It's soooo much fun and is a great way to spend time with my friends. If people show up.

Writing:

This year (three months) I've done several chapters of my ongoing fan fiction and a short-ish fan fiction (16000 words). I've also completed the first draft of one Short n' Smutty. The first have of a second Short n' Smutty is done longhand, waiting to be typed up. The first half-ish of another is typed up, but I might end up scrapping it. It's been so many words (38,000 by my Excel spreadsheet's reckoning) yet there's a long ways to go.

This weekend my writing sprint buddy, her friend and myself are driving up to Pine Top to shut ourselves into a cabin and type away like fiends. My word count has fallen behind to a painful, agonizing 434/day. Writing checks to pay my bills has hit me upside the head that even with my fancy-shmancy new job, I am still in debt up to my eyeballs. It will take years for me to dig myself out even though I'm now making more than 'break-even'. That overage needs to be aimed at fighting my debt and rebuilding my savings for the rest of this year (and longer). Writing is a life-enhancing pastime with potential money-making rewards. I'm so freaking far behind where I need to be. Got to pick up the pace. Every smutty short is another drop in the bucket of the Cat Food/Litter/Medical fund. Imagine never having to worry about buying that $20 bag of specialty cat food and $12 box of litter! That's the life!

Take care, my two readers. I'm off to fold my laundry and, sadly it's time for bed.

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New Employment

2015-03-20T15:54:19Z

So far, so good on the employment front.

They rate A+ on free food (cream filled cupcakes today) and because they are a high end office furniture design firm, I have a wonderful, ergonomic chair which I'm reasonably certain is about the equivalent of a month and a half of my salary. My desk is pretty sweet, too, and i have a view of a lovely mountain vista (if you're the type to believe in mountains, that is). They ordered me a wrist cushion and I like the office pens. The conference room is a freezer, but my desk is seated in the sunshine. I don't get too cold under my vista view.

What do I do, you may ask. Order processing. Not hard; complex. Involved. Nothing is done in order and so my training has been a bit discombobulated. Every rule has an exception, every project, its quirks.

Overall, this is a good fit for me (at least for a while).

Writing:

My word count has plummeted with my average falling to 455/day. 20 days into the month. It's gonna be hard to prop that back up to 500, let alone the 600 I really do need to actually be productive. The good news is, I'm free this weekend. Nothing to do but clean, hang pictures in my house and write.

Two weeks from now, Ferocious Pipsqueak, a pair of her friends and myself will be trekking to the boonies of Twin Pines resort town for a writing retreat. She referred to it as 'the cabin'. In reality, it's a resort mansion. Sweeeeeet.

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New Job!

2015-03-11T20:21:24Z

Happenings: I’ve experienced them.

I haven’t be updating regularly, at all, but changes are up ahead for me.

I have a new job! Today’s my last day at the cruise company. Next Monday I will begin anew at a furniture company order processing. They do business furniture. Doesn’t sound like it will involve a lot of phone crap. Better yet, the orders come from businesses, not the general public. Farewell, customer service. I will not miss you. Hello, salaried position with benefits at a small office. It’ll be 35,000 a year, so not a lot of money, but my supervisors [at the cruise company] are acting as though it’s making a shitton of money, as though I wasn’t making about that much the first year at this company. Let’s all agree that it’s only enough to keep one person with a wage that’s above just-getting-by.

Guys, I’m going to be able to pay down my debts. Save money. It’ll take a few years, I know. But this is insane.

I'm doing okay with my word count, but only about 450/day, which I plan to hike up over the next four days I'm not working.

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Progress Report: Ballpark

2015-02-11T17:04:59Z

Guess who wrote 1200 words during her buddy writing sprint yesterday? This girl!!!

It’s not likely I’ll finish the short n smutty tonight, but I’ll come close if I buckle down. If I maintain some vague keyboard pecking Thursday and Friday, I should be done with a first draft and can move on to the next short and smutty this weekend (necessary to my schedule). It’s unspeakably wonderful. I don’t have words to mark the change. I’ve gotten used to beating myself up for incompetence and laziness. What do I do with a productive me? If I keep on keeping on, I’m going to reach the goals I set. If I push myself, I can move the timeline forward—and as mentioned in previous posts, I need to move the timeline forward to coincide w/ the Phoenix Comic-Con.

Not to mention, I have no money and it’d be nice to start with something on the side.

I’m delighted by the resulting story. And it’s an Original Story, too, not just fanfic! I have an objective of publishing myself. I’m somehow on schedule, somehow on time. Somehow getting ideas for the next short. Somehow pulling my shit together.

I think I’m going to look towards writing contests, too. Anything for some publicity, getting the word out. And I’ll have to pull from my pool of buddies to help me out.

So much work.

I am the tortoise.

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Dalies

2015-02-10T19:14:00Z

Went to the Renn Faire this weekend with a smaller contingency of friends than initially planned, but it worked out well. Less fretting about which shows to hit. Less neurosis. The best bits were a Russian gypsy violinist, some amazing birds of prey at the hawk show, petting the greyhounds, seeing the joust. . .any of the bits with animals and music, really. There was a good acrobatic troupe. Nothing crazy happened, just a warm, sunny day hanging out with my friends looking at stuff I want but can’t afford. When the faire was over, we went to a pub and had my first Cornish pastie.

I love Cornish pasties.

Didn’t write anything yesterday. Boo. Bad show. I could’ve at least thrown some pity words down on the page. Tonight is another writing sprint. I need to have, omg. I honestly need to have this stupid thing done by, like, Friday night. Crazy. Cause I need to start on the next story this weekend, because next weekend I’ll be in San Diego and won’t get anything done.

Work today is slow. Would I ever love to be working from home (not happening any time soon).

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Bed time

2015-02-06T04:26:18Z

It always seems to be bed time by the time I'm into the swing of things.

Will write a little more tomorrow, maybe (I have a friend who might still be in the hospital tomorrow night, and if she is, I'm going to go visit her so might not get much writing done). Saturday, I'm doing writing sprints w/ my buddy 8-4. If she doesn't have work projects. Otherwise, I'll be sprinting on my own. Sunday is Ren Faire! I know Ren Faires are ridiculous. Don't care; got me a 1/2 price ticket, a bunch of single dollar bills and a day out with my friends wandering in the dust.

W/C: 238 (I know, but I needed to do edits and cut stuff, too--you know the drill)

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Writing Progress: Accomplishment:

2015-02-05T22:09:18Z

A whole chapter of my long DW fic has been posted.

The first draft of a 3 part, BDSM Doctor Who fic that’s about 16,000 words is done. It’s up for revision. Will post this month.

These are important accomplishments. These are part of my getting shit done program. I finished the month of January with about 18,000 words typed up (probably more, since some was written long hand) which is more than I wrote for NaNoWriMo, more than my stated goal of 16,000.

It doesn’t feel like it was quite enough. I’m happy to have resolution to the shorter fanfic and needed to get that chapter posted for my neglected readers.

However, I neglected to do more for my original fics. There are two I am working on. Each have about 1/3^rd of the first draft done. I think I need to pick one story as a focus and knock it out in a few weekends. The fanfics I’ll spend a few weekdays on because I need to be regular in my updates. But I really, really need to get a move on my original work because those are on a real world deadline. They will be challenging—they are challenging—but I’ve got to end the shortest month of the year with two first drafts. I’ll still push my 500 words/day goal; I’m beginning to feel it’s too low a goal. There’s always more to do and with only one job, I have the time.

Personally, I’ve been at sea, riding the waves of contradiction. I’m vacillating between confidence, a sense that I can conquer all the hurdles out in front of me and write like a MoFo, and feeling that I need to face the reality of my situation and seek part-time employment somewhere and hold onto that employment, at least until April/May when I need to seek a new full-time job that pays cashy-money as opposed to poverty wages.

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Progress Report: Brief

2015-01-29T17:47:00Z

Not a lot to report. I hung out at home watching the Wimbledon Wibbly Wobblies, played a little of my video game and at 6, wrote with my buddy until about 8:20. I worked on a side Who fanfic because it's so, so close to being done.

Word Count: 825

Tonight, I have to buy bananas for a party at work tomorrow. I’M BRINGING THE BANANAS TO THE PARTY.

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Progress Report:

2015-01-28T17:32:25Z

It’s been a busy week at my day job. No time to sneak in a journal post. Today, things have calmed considerably, but that may change as one of my coworkers is ducking out for a sick kid. There’s a hitch in the work from home giddie-up. They installed the software on our desktops. We took calls; it sorta works, except if we get in queue. Then the system freaks out and freezes up. Until that’s resolved, we’re back on hard lines and not at home. There’s got to be a fix. I want to go the fuck home.

The twin continues to have husband troubles. No money. Vacillates daily on what solution to take, when she’s going to act, how to get a lawyer, whether to buy a trailer home or rent an apartment. She’s good and stuck in a terrible position.

Monday, I had a friend from work swing by to discuss the possibility of doing a podcast together. Premise sounds okay, but neither she nor I have a lot of time to dedicate to the thing; she works two jobs and paints. I have one job, but am dedicating 20 hrs a week to writing. As usual, I know I’d be the one doing more or less all the work. I accept this as the norm, as this is how most things go in my life (with a few exceptions, notably my twin). However, I’ve chosen the writing track. I have story ideas. I am currently executing the plan like a goddamn mofo. I may, in actual fact, finish a three-chapter BDSM fanfic before the end of this week. For real. The epic, long-ass WIP is about ready for another chapter to be posted, with the following chapter in the midst of edits, with the following chapter of that in progress of being written. My OF stories are behind, but that’s because I’ve been pouring the effort in to these fanfics which are so freaking close to being finished and I desperately need to have something to hold up as ‘done’.

I need accomplishments in my life, and how.

Did a writing sprint w/ my writing buddy last night:

W/C: 625

Not great, but I also got some editing done, so I can’t exactly complain. I fear I'm slacking off/slowing down. That may be normal, given I'm a month in on this new plan. So far, it's rendered 16,500 words for a variety of fics.

So. Close.

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