Job Hunting

So. Job hunting today was interesting, though no solid affirmations of interest. I went in person store to store around a strip mall. Most of the conversations were variations on this theme:

 

            nepenthe: Are you hiring?

            JOB: *slit eyes of parental disapproval* Are you over the age of 18?

            nepenthe: WHY DO YOU THINK I'M WEARING THESE OUTRAGEOUS HEELS?

            JOB: We’re accepting applications at this time.

            nepenthe: Alright, but are you hiring?

            JOB: Not at this time.

 

I wandered in to a cake shop on a whim (that place looks clean) and had this conversation:

 

            CAKE JOB: We’ll be right with you. Have a free piece of manna from the gods while you wait!

            nepenthe: ommm nom nom.

            CAKE JOB: I’m back. May I help you?

            nepenthe: Job. I’M NOT TWELEVE and COLLEGE GRAD. Must find job. You have?

            CAKE JOB: As a matter of fact, I was just meaning to hire an extra person to man the counters. . .but I haven’t even put together an application for you to fill out . . .

            nepenthe: I HAVE A COPY OF MY RESUME, HERE, AND AN EXTRA COPY OF THE STARBUCKS APPLICATION ON TOP OF THAT. There. I'VE DONE YOUR JOB FOR YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.

            CAKE JOB: Wow. You have so much sale and customer service experience! You must really be in demand.

            nepenthe: You would think it works that way.
 

Time is running out. I need to get a job so I can get the apartment so I CAN GET MY CAT.

On Filling Out Personality Tests For Jobs

 Since the start of my job search, I’ve run into a number of businesses which make everyone apply online and require a personality test. They say not to think, but go with the answer that first occurs to you. How unfortunate for me that my brain does not come with an off switch.

 

 

1. You prefer to work alone.

 

Strongly Agree

Agree

Disagree

Strongly Disagree

 

            I prefer TO GET THE JOB DONE. Are you kidding me? The only people who prefer NOT to work alone are slackers who want somebody who prefers to work alone to do their job for them. Or you work for Google.

 

2. People cannot be trusted.

 

Strongly Agree

Agree

Disagree

Strongly Disagree

 

Why do you think sane people lock their doors at night?

 

3. You get angry when courts let guilty criminals go free.

 

Strongly Agree

Agree

Disagree

Strongly Disagree

 

Apparently, Gotham P.D. is trying to narrow their search for the Batman. I’d like to point out to the good service members of Gotham how unlikely it is that caped crusaders will apply for a job at Boarders.
 

 

So far, my job search has resulted in:

One slice of cake

One piece of chocolate (from See’s Candy)

Several lipstick samples.