Goes Somer * Goesomer * Gossamer

 These past three weeks have been action-packed and crazy between the new position at my same old job, San Diego Comic-Con, and GISHWES.

I think it’s best to go by lessons learned.

Lessons Learned from the SDCC:

1.       Never, never, never ever attend another convention without business cards. Never. You have no idea who you will meet or will ask if you do voice work or the next fashion designer for Hot Topic’s Her Universe line screams “Who are you?” and you say, “The Doctor,” and they say, “Obviously. No, who are you to be that cute at MY show” and then asks for your business card and portfolio and you go back to your hotel room and cry because: COSPLAY FASHION SHOWS AT SDCC ARE FOR REALZ, unlike in PHX. Also, all professional panels at SDCC are hardcore. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER FORGET THERE ARE PROFESSIONALS SWARMING THE PLACE AND IF YOU ARE CRAZY ENOUGH TO ASK GOOD QUESTIONS AT A PROFESSIONAL PANEL, THEY ALL WILL SWARM YOU AT THE END AND THROW BUSINESS CARDS AT YOU AND YOU. HAVE. NONE. I blew professional opportunities at SDCC so hard.

2.       I must finish my book. ASAP.

My New Job Position:

1.       This is a great gig. I wouldn’t mind doing it for a few more years.

2.       If you are fast and efficient and volunteer for harderish jobs, you get to hold title of Assistant Manager.

3.       IT PAYS NOTHING AND WILL NEVER PAY ME A CENT MORE REGARDLESS OF ANY AND ALL PROMOTIONS. THEY WANT ME TO DO MORE WORK AND ACCEPT MORE RESPONSIBILITY AND NOT COMPENSATE WITH MONEY. I CANNOT AFFORD TO HOLD THIS POSITION. NOW IS THE TIME TO JOB HUNT NOW THAT THE SDCC USED UP MY VACATION TIME.

4.       Begin the job hunt and accept nothing less than $13/hr at a company that pays more for good work/time invested. $15/hr is the goal. I have already polished up my resume and submitted to a hiring agency and then submitted to one job. I hate job hunting, but if I don’t earn more, I will never get out of debt. I will never be able to renovate my home. I will never have safety net money. And I will never have self-respect if I don’t earn at least a fraction of what I’m worth at an employer who values my contribution by the new-fangled notion of paying a good wage.

GISHWES:

1.       I am astoundingly capable of doing an immense amount of work in a very short period of time and have a net of people around me who are very, very talented, and often, helpful if I ask nicely.

2.       I CAN FINISH THINGS. I can start projects. I can organize for projects. I can set clear, tangible goals. I am a finisher IF I VIEW THE DEADLINE AS REAL, EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TASK.

3.       I need to go back to making daily lists and sticking to them.

4.       Less internet is better. Way less internet. No more tumblr. I mean it. None.

Personal Stuff:

My uncle passed away the Sunday of SDCC. He was an alcoholic and it was liver failure. While I was never close to this uncle, I do feel sorry for my father who feels a good portion of responsibility for not supporting my uncle in the way he needed it. Dad gave him money when he probably shouldn’t have. Bailed him out of getting arrested when he probably shouldn’t have. While Dad did get my uncle into rehab a few times, it was an outpatient thing and not nearly intensive enough. I admit it was also disturbing for me, in the respect that my father is a functioning alcoholic. Unlike my uncle, my dad gets away with his excessive drinking. He smokes at least 3 packs a day. He’s supposed to be on anti-depressants, but doesn’t take them as they’d interfere w/ his drinking. The stress he is under at both of his full time jobs is enormous. And if you know anything about my dad, he is not a pleasant, upstanding character. Rather a jerk. Still. I feel sorry for him and worry that the next person on The Reaper’s List might be my idiot father. And as much as I am and have been angry and bitter about him in the past, there is no part of me that wants bad things to happen to his health.

My sisters are both having husband troubles. The Twin? No surprise there. My other Sister? Did not see it coming, but I probably should have seen it coming. (Her husband was keen to be married, but not keen on having a baby. I fear Sister badgered him into having the baby, a person and responsibility he did not want, but gave in to appease Sister. Now there is a baby. The only thing my Sister talks about is THE BABY. I can see how he was driven a little nuts). They are both contemplating/preparing for the big D, should it be necessary. Astonishing.

1.       The life choice to be single and without children is NOT a bad choice.

 

That’s waaaaaay more than enough journaling. It is time for me to scavenge for sustainance (I don’t have money for food this month. Wow. That’s a horrifyingly literal thing to say—I spent too much money on GISHWES and I spent no more than $200 on GISHWES, but that’s the equivalent of my food budget. So.

WRITE YOUR FUCKING BOOK, GET PAID $$$$$, BUY CAT FUD.